Horrible Football Club Merchandise for Christmas

Christmas is only a few short weeks away and the stores are already packed with shoppers scrambling over each other to get the perfect gift for little Timmy.

They'll no doubt end up with an elaborately packaged lump of plastic for a reasonable $19.99, that was lovingly crafted in a horrific sweatshop in China where the worker elves no doubt whistled a joyous tune while assembling Timmy's Captain America doll.

But what happens if the kid or adult for that matter that you're buying for is a huge football fan? You could do the sensible thing and buy them a jersey or a scarf, or you could go a little off the map and get them something a little unique like one of the offerings below.

Arsenal - Neck Pillow

The Gunner in your house is sure to go gaga for this Gunnersaurus neck pillow. Available for about $5, you'll look as funny as Arsene Wenger struggling with the zipper on his jacket if you wear one of these on the train.

Aston Villa - Garter

Putting the sex into 'Sexy Football', this saucy piece from Aston Villa will in the club's words "add some excitement and zing to a special occasion", damn right it will!

Bayern Munich - Waffle Maker

If the only thing you love more than Bayern Munich is waffles, now you can have both at once with this amazing waffle maker. Or you could of course piss off one of your Dortmund friends by gifting them this little number.

Chelsea - His and Hers Chelsea Belts

Now you and your special someone can both look like absolute wankers with these matching Chelsea belts!

Barcelona - Clubbing Shirt

Get your gold chains on, douse yourself in some Old Spice and then hit the disco in this gem from Barcelona. If the ladies don't swoon when they see you in this, they simply don't understand high fashion.

FC St. Pauli - Skull Toaster

Yeah, I really have nothing sarcastic to say about this one at all. I simply must own this product.

Gremio - Hunting Knife

You can't help but wonder if this hunting knife, from Brazilian club Gremio, comes with a strict warning not to bring it to the stadium or use it to chase after referees who have made decisions against their club?

Newcastle - Lingerie

Another entry in the 'Sexy Football' category, you can score like a Geordie in this delightful number released a few years back by the St. James Park club.


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