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Any Given Sunday: Football Made Me Do It


Ok, so you screwed up royally during Valentine’s Day and it was all because you either forgot to it was Valentine’s or because you were watching your favorite football team and neglected your better half.

Well, what is done is done and there is no time machine available, not even one that happens to split duties with a hot tub.

So, it is the day after Valentine’s Day and here is your chance to make things slightly better before you end up a single dude with one of two things in your hands, the TV remote being one of them.

Time to forget the morning Sunday Premier League games on TV or your weekly Sunday League Game with your single buddies or even the afternoon tape delay game that you missed the previous day since you couldn’t fit that into your incredible busy schedule.

Here are three things you can do to try to fix the damage you have done to your relationship.

Breakfast in Bed

Don’t try to cook and watch your game on TV at the sametime, you are bound to burn the food and burn your relationship when she walks in the kitchen and sees that you made a mess of the kitchen and there is nothing worth eating to show for, all because you couldn’t stay away from the game for 30 minutes. What is wrong with you?

Get up early, pretend Manchester United is playing City at Old Trafford. 7am start, it wouldn’t even faze you, so get that mindset going and go out and buy some really nice breakfast at a breakfast joint, not at McDonalds you cheap ass. Add a flower to it, perhaps something on a neighbors garden, at that time of the morning they won’t notice, just make sure it is not your next door neighbor.

Surprise her in bed with the breakfast, and whatever you do don’t turn on the TV, pretend you lost the remote or that the TV is not working. Let her be in charge, as we all known that they always are.

Take Out The Garbage

Her idea of take out the garbage was probably dumping you on the side of the curb, but that is exactly what you are trying to avoid.

So after she is done with her meal, clean it all up and take out all the garbage. Not only you are cleaning after the meal, you are also saving time for when latter in the week you forget to take out the garbage and she gives you shit for it. Killing two birds with one stone, is what you are aiming for with this one.

If you really want to go the extra mile, you can also vacuum the rugs so she doesn’t have to do any actual work, and just maybe you are on the road to redemption.

Forget The Remote Control

Forget about touching the remote control. You need to be ready to endure 2 hours of chick flicks starting Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler followed by 8 hours of Nurse Jackie. It is what it is brother, you screwed up and now it is time to pay the price.

Get some good pain killers, and sit down for what can only be compared to water boarding in Guantanamo Bay.

This will be the most difficult task to endure, but it will be the one that will put you over the hump and back in her good books. Let the pain and suffering be a lesson so next year you don’t make the same mistakes. Who am I kidding?



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