FOOTY FAIR

Throwback Thursdays: The 1996 Summer Olympic Games - When The Super Eagles Soared

2016-08-04T08:00:00.000-04:00

What do Jay-Jay Okocha, Kanu, Javier Zanetti, Hernan Crespo, Rivaldo and the original Ronaldo all have in common?

The answer is that they all took part in a terrific Olympic football tournament in the United States in 1996, that would see Nigeria walk away with the gold twenty years ago this week.

Football has a long, but somewhat strained, history in the Summer Olympic with early battles over whether or not professionals should be allowed to participate in the games and what in fact defined a footballer as a professional.

The timing of the Olympics also doesn't sit well with clubs in Europe in particular, as it clashes with either their preseason training or the early part of their schedules.

The importance that nations place on the Olympic football tournament also varies from country to country.

But in 1996 a talented group of youngsters from Nigeria, led by Dutch coach Jo Bonfrere, took their place in America as one of the 16 nations vying for a gold medal. They would show the world that football at an Olympic Games can be every bit as exciting as that which is played at other more prestigious tournaments.

Drawn in a opening group containing Hungary, Japan and a star studded Brazilian side, Nigeria saw off the Hungarians with a goal from Ajax star Kanu, and then crucially defeated a Japanese side who had stunned Brazil in their opener with goals from Tijani Babangida and Okocha.

Brazil, with a goal from Ronaldo, stopped Nigeria from obtaining maximum points when they defeated them 1-0 in Miami.

With Brazil, Nigeria and Japan all tied at six points at the end of the group stage, it was goal difference that saw Brazil and Nigeria advance to the Quarter-Finals at the expense of the Asian side.

A fine victory over Mexico, with goals by Okocha and future Chelsea defender Celestine Babayaro, eased the Super Eagles into a return engagement with Brazil in the Semi-Final.

Facing a Brazilian side that contained the likes of Bebeto, Juninho, Dida, Roberto Carlos and Rivaldo, to go along with "The Phenomenon" himself Ronaldo, the odds were definitely stacked against the West Africans.

When Flávio Conceição put Brazil up 1-0 with only a minute played, Nigeria's fans surely feared the worst. But with the Super Eagles playing their way back into it, they forced Roberto Carlos to slice the ball into his own net on 20 minutes to draw level.

Unbowed, Brazil's 1994 World Cup winning striker Bebeto fired the South Americans back in front on 28 minutes before Conceição doubled their advantage ten minutes later. Up 3-1 at half-time, Nigeria's dream of Olympic gold seemed to be over.

As the minutes ticked away in the second half, Brazil confidentially controlled the ball and seemed to be conserving themselves for an eventual final against their old rivals Argentina.

With just over ten minutes to play though, Monaco's Victor Ikpeba found the net from 20 metres to give his team a bit of life and then on 90 minutes the impossible happened. Kanu took advantage of a mad scramble in the box to force an equalizer and send the match into extra-time.

The 78,587 fans in Athens, Georgia had been treated to a wonderful spectacle and they were in for an incredible conclusion. Only three minutes into extra-time that man Kanu picked up the ball outside the box, dribbled around a hapless Brazil defender before dispatching the golden goal winner. It was truly one of the greatest football matches seen at an Olympic Games.

Standing in Nigeria's way in the final though was another glittering side in Argentina that contained players such as Claudio Lopez, Ariel Ortega, Roberto Ayala, Diego Simeone, Hernan Crespo and Jose Chamot in their squad.

Again, Nigeria would find themselves down early as Lopez found the net on three minutes to put the South Americans in front. Celestine Babayaro responded for the Super Eagles on 28 minutes and the sides went in at the half deadlocked at one apiece.

Hernan Crespo, who would later become the most expensive player in the world, fired Argentina ahead again from the spot on 50 minutes.

Taribo West, who would enjoy a fine career at clubs such as Auxerre, Inter and AC Milan, was devastated after allowing himself to get drawn into fouling Ortega in the box.

At that point even the most ardent Nigerian supporter could have been forgiven for thinking that their wonderful run was about to come to a disappointing conclusion.

But proving that their heroics against Brazil weren't a fluke, Nigeria kept going at their illustrious opponents and on 74 minutes Daniel Amokachi looped in an equalizer over the head of Argentine keeper Pablo Cavallero.

Deadlocked at 2-2, Argentina nearly found themselves ahead again soon after Amokachi's equalizer, when Lopez forced a fine save out of Joseph Dosu in the Nigerian goal.

Then with only a minute remaining Emmanuel Amunike beat an terribly botched offside trap by the South Americans to seal an unlikely win for the Super Eagles and an Olympic gold medal.

Throwback Thursdays: Ronaldo and Brazil's Redemption in Japan

2016-06-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

Heading into the 1998 World Cup the most famous player on the planet was Brazil's seemingly unstoppable striker Ronaldo.

The star packed Brazilian side heading to France that year, with Ronaldo at the forefront, was widely expected to repeat their Cup winning exploits of USA 94 but to do it with a bit more style than they had four years previous.

Unfortunately, things did not go according to plan and that squad has become better known for a flashy advertisement they did for Nike in an airport and also for their against France in the 1998 World Cup Final. Ronaldo, football's brightest light, had suffered a reported seizure on the eve of the match and was completely ineffective against the hosts.

A determined Brazil, under manager Luiz Felipe Scolari, returned to football's biggest stage in 2002 hoping to go one further though and this time they would not be denied. Although the side under 'Big Phil' was a bit more pragmatic than the "Joga Bonito" side of 1998, any squad featuring the scintillating talents of Ronaldo, Rivaldo and newcomer Ronaldinho was never going to be dull.

After winning all three of their group matches rather handily, Brazil saw off Belgium 2-0 in the Round of 16 before edging out England 2-1 in the Quarter-Final and a surprising Turkey side 1-0 in the Semi-Final.

On 30 June 2002 at the International Stadium in Yokohama, Japan, Brazil took on Germany with another chance to capture a record fifth World Cup crown.

Although he was not perhaps the force he had been four years previous, thanks to a series of injuries in the intervening years, Ronaldo had still lit up the tournament in Japan/South Korea with six goals and he wasn't finished.

A mistake by German keeper Oliver Kahn in the 67th-minute let Ronaldo in for the opening goal of the final, and doubled his sides advantage on 79 minutes after beating the Bayern number one from the top of the box.

That was all the scoring Brazil needed as they saw out the match and went on to the lift the World Cup trophy once again.

5 Footballers Who Got Caught With Their Pants Down

2016-02-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

For some strange reason there are footballers who simply perform better away from home than they do on their very own stomping grounds.

I'm not talking about their on-pitch contributions though, but rather the unsavoury shenanigans some of them get up to.

The following are five love cheat footballers who got caught with their pants down:

1.) Giggsy Keeps it In the Family

Manchester United legend Ryan Giggs did everything possible to keep the story of his extramarital affair out of the papers a few years back for good reason: he was shagging his brother's wife.

It wasn't just a one time filthy fumble after a drunken Giggs Family dinner either. The former Welsh international had been slipping it between the goalposts of his brother Rhodri's wife for eight long years before the story got out.

With United fans currently calling for manager Louis van Gaal's head, some are suggesting Giggs should take the job. It's not as if Giggs doesn't have experience in taking another man's role and picking up his sloppy seconds afterall.

2.) John Terry Takes One From the Team

Chelsea's Captain, Leader, and Legend John Terry proved himself to be less than an ideal teammate in 2010 when it was revealed that he had engaged in a few rounds of hide the sausage roll with teammate Wayne Bridge's soon to be ex-wife Vanessa Perroncel. Terry would lose his England captaincy over the sordid affair.

There were, naturally, a lot of jokes made about the affair, my favourite of which being, "What do Wayne Bridge's ex-missus and the 2008 Champions League final goalpost have in common? They’ve both been banged by John Terry."

3.) Ashley Cole Get's Around

When Ashley Cole married Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy in the summer of 2006 it seemed like the latest perfect match between football and the world of pop. But despite being wed to the lovely Cheryl, Cole tore through women quicker than he used to get down the left side for Chelsea and England. After a string of affairs his marriage fell apart in less than four years.

Perhaps he would have been happier with a Spice Girl? On second thought that Sporty Spice looks like she'd chop a guy's balls off if they tried something like this while in a relationship with her.

4.) Kolo Toure the Car Salesman

Former Manchester City defender Kolo Toure cheated on his wife with a young model in 2012 while claiming to the unsuspecting bit on the side that he was a car salesman from Ghana.

The Ivory Coast international would sneak into her council flat wearing a pulled down ball cap, so he wasn't recognized, and explained the gifts he was showering her with by claiming record sales.

I've heard of guys pretending to be footballers to land women, but footballers pretending to be car salesmen? Whatever works I suppose.

5.) Ronaldo Gets More Than He Bargained For

One of our loyal readers, Jason Bramble, makes a point each Monday of diligently going through our weekly Football Babes feature and helpfully pointing out when any of them appear to be packing something other than an extra tube of mascara in their pants.

Well, the Brazilian Ronaldo, aka "Fat Ronaldo", could have used Mr. Bramble's services in 2008 when he picked up three prostitutes in his homeland for a bit of slap and tickle, who unexpectedly turned out to be transvestites.

Police were called to his hotel room after he realized the girls all had twigs and berries, flipped out and then refused to pay them £15,000 in 'hush' money. Ronaldo later claimed that he wasn't in the right frame of mind when he picked up the three ladies of the night, while they countered that he knew all along that they were transvestites and also that he hoovered up a few lines of Colombian bam-bam with them for good measure.

5 Iconic National Teams That Ultimately Failed

2016-01-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

It's been said that history only remembers the winners, but in football that's not always the case as some teams have captured our imaginations, and then lived long in our memories with their brilliant play despite ultimately falling short of winning the World Cup.

The following are five iconic sides that ultimately failed, but have never been forgotten:

Hungary 1954

Ferenc Puskas and Hungary's Mighty Magyars had gone undefeated for four years coming into the 1954 World Cup in Switzerland and were heavy favourites to lift the Jules Rimet Trophy. Hungary, playing an early form of total football, had smashed England 6-3 at Wembley a year earlier and surprised no one by romping to the World Cup Final in Bern. Their opponents were a West Germany side who, like the country they hailed from, were still recovering from the devastation of World War 2.

When Puskas and Zoltan Czibor put Hungary up 2-0 within eight minutes everything seemed to be going according to the script, but within two minutes West Germany got back into it. Max Morlock slide home the German's first on 10 minutes, before Helmut Rahn equalized in the 18th minute. After that the Hungarian's pressed and pressed, but despite laying siege to the German goal they could not force themselves back in front. With six minutes to go, Rahn struck again to complete a remarkable comeback and consign one of the finest team's the football world had seen to a 3-2 defeat.

Netherlands 1974

Unless you support Germany, if you mention the 1974 World Cup to most football fans of a certain age they'll almost certainly wax lyrically about the wonderful Dutch side of Johan Cruyff that swept to the final playing their glorious total football that summer.

Managed by Rinus Michels, the Netherlands played a fluid brand of football with players interchanging positions and Cruyff conducting things using a style that had seen Ajax win three straight European Cups in the early 1970's. Facing the host West German side in the final the Netherlands were the slight favourites, but as they had in 1954 the German's spoiled the party overcoming a Johan Neeskens penalty in the second minute with goals by Paul Breitner in the 25th minute and a second by poacher supreme Gerd Muller in the 43rd minute. Despite chances for both sides in the second half, West Germany claimed their second World Cup hanging on for a 2-1 victory in Munich.

Brazil 1982

Arguably the last Brazilian side to play in the thrilling samba style of old, the Selecao's 1982 vintage featured a chain smoking doctor named Socrates, the brilliant Zico and a terrific group of individuals who played like they'd just strolled in from the beach. Some of the goals this team scored are among the best World Cup stunners you'll ever see on YouTube.

Sweeping aside New Zealand, Scotland and the Soviet Union in the opening group stage, Brazil then downed their old rivals Argentina 3-1 in their first second round group match and seemed prime to match the achievements of the great Brazilian sides of the past. Unfortunately, the cavalier play of manager Tele Santana's side proved to be their undoing against the eventual world champions Italy when some disastrous defending gifted Paolo Rossi a hattrick in a 3-2 win for the Azzurri in the final second round group match. Thanks to exited in one of the finest World Cup matches ever played and their inspired attacking brilliance throughout, this Brazilian side is considered by many to be the best team that didn't win a World Cup.

Denmark 1986

For a country of only five million people, Denmark has produced a good number of wonderful footballers, several of which made up their 1986 World Cup squad. Nicknamed the Danish Dynamite, the 1986 squad combined brute force and smooth technique unlike any side the country has produced since, even the European Championship winners of 1992. Under German manager Sepp Piontek, the Danes might have been the most prepared team for the 1986 World Cup in Mexico having gone through intense altitude training and bruising training sessions prior to the tournament.

With the talented Preben Elkjær Larsen leading the line, a 21-year old phenomenon in Michael Laudrup providing the creativity and the dynamic Frank Arnesen and Soren Lerby applying the drive from midfield, Denmark became one of the neutrals favourites in Mexico. Sailing through, what looked like on paper, a tough first round group, the Danes dispatched Scotland 1-0, hammered Uruguay 6-1 and then beat the eventual finalists West Germany 2-0. But in the second round the unbelievable happened. After going up 1-0 against Spain, and pressing their advantage, a calamitous mistake by Jesper Olsen allowed the Spanish to equalize through Emilio Butragueño. In the second half as Denmark pushed forward, some might say recklessly, they were caught on the counter attack four more times as Butragueño added three more goals to his name and Andoni Goikoetxea fired in a penalty to complete a shock 5-1 win for Spain.

Denmark, a tournament favourite who had played some of the finest football of the World Cup in the first round, flew a little too close to the sun with wax wings.

Brazil 1998

Everyone of a certain age remembers the wonderful Nike advertisement of the Brazilian team of 1998 moving a ball through an airport, and it was rather representative of the football they played at that time. Although Brazil won the World Cup in 1994, and would win it again in 2002, it was the 1998 team with Ronaldo at his peak that captured the imagination.

Led by manager Mario Zagallo, who guided the legendary 1970 Brazilian side to glory, Brazil breezed through the first round with their attacking trio of Rivaldo, Bebeto and that man Ronaldo firing on all cylinders. They crushed Chile 4-1 in the Round of 16, before narrowly edging out a surprising Denmark side 3-2 in the Quarter Finals. The Semi Finals saw Brazil take the lead against a very good Dutch team through Ronaldo in the 46th minute, before Patrick Kluivert levelled the score three minutes from time. Brazil held their nerve in the shootout though and advanced to the final.

In the World Cup final against the host France, Brazil went in as the slight favourites despite the French having the home crowd advantage. Prior to the match though, Ronaldo suffered a seizure and was initially left out of the starting eleven. Despite being cleared to play, the best player on the planet at that time proved a non-factor as the South Americans wilted and were beaten 3-0.

The Roundtable: The Best Player You've Seen in Person

2015-05-17T12:00:00.000-04:00

Every weekend we go beyond the headlines and talk to real football fans about current topics or issues in the football world.

Today the group discussed their the best players they've had the privilege of seeing in the flesh.

On the round table today we were joined by:

Bramble
Parmar
Luka
Wes
Hawk
Iain (me)

Who is the best player you've seen play in person, when did you see them and why were they so special?

Iain:

Best player I've seen in person is Zinedine Zidane in a pre-season friendly between his Real Madrid side and Roma in 2002. His touch, balance, range of passing and control was out of this world. The guy was magical. Even in the pre-match warm up he was ridiculous to watch.

Bramble:
I guess for me the best player i've seen live would be either Romario or Eric Cantona. I saw Romario here in Canada post WC 94 and he was phenomenal. A bit of a douche though. He went on to win the World Cup that summer. The King (Cantona) I've seen enough times during my reign of going to Old Trafford regularly in the 90's he was good before his kung fu incident but after he was somehow even better. His touches were amazing and the flicks and tricks and vision were always unparalleled to me. I agree with your opinion on Zidane but for me the King has to be.

Parmar:
Eden Hazard. I was in attendance for Chelsea v Sporting in this year's Champions League. The kid was magic to watch; what he does with the ball to beat opponents, his confidence when taking on opponents 1 v 1 or as I had the pleasure of seeing 1 v 3 or 4 is truly precious. For me, all Chelsea bias aside, this kid will be one of the greats in the history books once he's finished with his career.

Bramble:
Some of the players of today are something special, I just chose mine based on the fact that it was a bit of a tougher game back then. Yet the skill was top notch.

Parmar:
If I had to choose one from waaaay back when, and some of you pricks may laugh at me for even bringing his name up in this conversation, Domenic Mobilio. I had the pleasure of growing up watching and even training with him in Van. When it comes to Canadian football he was special in my opinion.

Wes:
Is it a bad thing that the best player I've ever seen live was David Beckham? It was the first leg of TFC vs LA Galaxy. What made him so special, is that honestly, looking at everyone on that pitch, you could tell he was worlds apart from the rest of them. Even with people tossing toilet paper, and I think a beer cup, he kept his cool.

I don't think I got a chance to see what he is truly capable of live, but it was a pleasure to watch him.

Parmar:
I remember saying to my buddy "his passes are still pinpoint" in that match.

Bramble:
Wasn't that me? (Laughs)

Iain:
Beckham comes in for a lot of grief, because of his underwear modelling and strange looking wife mainly, but he looked miles better than anyone on the pitch when he played for LA against us in Toronto. His crosses and delivery from set plays seemed effortless.

Hawk:
It was a treat to watch him.

Bramble:
Yeah, but oh man did we raise a unholy noise when TFC scored those two goals against LA that night. Toronto has not known such fearsome noise.

Parmar:
It was special.

Luka:
Best player I've seen live I think is Luka Modrić. Saw him play against Milan at San Siro, in the 2nd leg of r.16 of CL. He came around the 60th minute as he was coming off an injury and despite this he was still amazing. The vision, off the ball movement, skills, timing and that outside of the boot pass! He's the type of player you really appreciate when you watch live.

I also really enjoyed watching Neymar and Alexis Sanchez in the Brazil v Chile friendly at skydome last year. Also it's an absolute joy to watch Niko Kranjčar, saw him play three times within two weeks (EPL, CL and international friendly) and he's just a magician with the ball at his feet.

I've seen a lot of good players play in MLS but none of them come close to those 4.

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Thank you for reading this week's Roundtable.

The Round Table: Neymar, Messi and Suarez

2015-04-19T16:00:00.000-04:00

Every weekend we go beyond the headlines and talk to real football fans about current topics or issues in the football world.

Today the group discussed Barcelona's scintillating attacking threesome of Lionel Messi, Luis Suarez and Neymar.

On the round table today we were joined by:

Bramble
Parmar
Jay
Iain (me)

Messi, Suarez and Neymar. Are they the greatest attacking threesome you've ever seen in football?

Parmar:
Now? Not yet, but the more they play together and the more I see the three of them play together they could very well be on the road to that label. The major thing is Messi seems to be keeping Hannibal Lector (Suarez) in check on the field.

Bramble:
I'd probably have to say so... In all my years of watching footy i haven't' seen a trio that was that deadly. I could argue the rotation of Cole, Yorke and Ole (Who put the ball in the German's net) and Teddy (Ohhhhhh Teddy! Teddy!) was the best pairing but they rarely, if ever, were on 3 at a time. But these three are amazingly deadly.... Right now they're still figuring it out but occasionally you see what's going to come in the future and the future is scary if you aren't a Barca supporter.

Iain:

Rivaldo, Fat Ronaldo, and Ronaldinho have to be in the conversation.

Parmar:

Different dynamic. That Brazilian threesom had defined roles, while these three on Barca are just scary, as they are all similar players and swap roles. The opposition doesn't know who will be pulling the strings as the playmakers and who is your goal scorer.

Jay:

Club football or just in general on any team ever? Currently, I don't think any team has the same deadly talent. Real Madrid would probably be the closest with Bale, CR7 and Benzema. Still miles off with the first and latter in that three though in my opinion. As for Brazil.... that lineup was insane together. Arguably better and more consistent in their day.

Iain:

International or club trios are fair game for this discussion. "Friends of FIFA" World XI vs "Zidane and Family" bullshit friendlies are out though.

Jay:

Costa and Hazard may be up for discussion, but I can't think of another player with the same calibre and constant impact to fill the other attacking role (I consider Cesc to be a MF). United misses out because RvP and Falcao can't figure out how to play together and stay fit. RvP, Falcao and Rooney would be immense with the right tactics, but we have yet to see that.

Parmar:

If Oscar would get his head out of his ass I would be with you on that, Jay.

Iain:

Louis van Gaal would never start those three together at United. Rooney could play off of either of those two, but neither RVP or Falcao are that flexible.

Bramble:

I saw first hand how deadly 'true' Ronaldo, who some of you call 'fat', Rivaldo and Ronaldinho were as they tore England's defense asunder in World Cup 2002. Schooling us with one of the greatest counter attacking goals I've seen, and just general trashing of our defense. Definitely they should be in the conversation.

In Conclusion:

At this present moment the Round Table agrees for the most part that there isn't an attacking line up in football quite like Barcelona's attacking three. However, when having any conversation about a great threesome (no pun intended) you have to consider the Brazilian attack of 2002.

Thanks for checking out this week's Round Table.

Football Players Past & Present by Kieran Carroll (Gallery)

2015-03-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

Kieran Carroll put together an incredible poster collection of present and past football stars.

If you like his work and would like to purchase some of his posters you can find them at this site https://www.etsy.com/ie/shop/kierancarrolldesign

Five Football Conspiracy Theories

2015-03-27T12:00:00.000-04:00

Fans of certain clubs or countries will tell you that the authorities are all against them, and even some managers have been known to don a proverbial tinfoil hat if things don't go their way.

But what if sometimes there are actual dark forces at work shaping results on the pitch and the decisions made off of it?

The following are five conspiracy laden questions from football's often colourful history:

5 - Did Nike Force Brazil to Play Ronaldo in the 1998 World Cup Final?

Brazilian striker Ronaldo, the reigning two time FIFA World Player of the Year going into the 1998 World Cup in France, did not disappoint as he led his side to the Final that summer.

However on the morning of their meeting with the hosts, Ronaldo suffered an apparent seizure and was dropped from the starting eleven. Before kickoff though, Brazil's boss Mario Zagallo apparently changed his mind and put 'Il Fenomeno' back into the lineup to face France.

A visibly weakened Ronaldo stumbled around the pitch ineffectively and a Zinedine Zidane led France roared to a 3-0 victory.

Why a clearly unfit Ronaldo was even in the lineup has long been a subject of speculation, with the truth never adequately revealed. One of the most popular rumours, and one that doesn't seem as far fetched as you might think, is that Ronaldo and Brazil's chief sponsor Nike pressured Zagallo to insert Ronaldo into the lineup against the Adidas sponsored French side, that was led by the German company's own poster boy in Zidane.

Seventeen years later we still are waiting to hear the truth on what really happened that day.

4 - Was the 1978 World Cup Fixed?

The 1978 World Cup in Argentina was played under a cloud to begin with as the country had been taken over by a brutal military dictatorship called the National Reorganization Process in a military coup two years earlier.

Some of the qualified nations, such as the Netherlands, debated pulling out of the tournament amidst rumours of political opponents of the regime being 'disappeared'.

The tournament went ahead as scheduled, with all of the qualified nations taking part, but there was a lot of grumblings over the schedule as host Argentina played all of their matches at night so they would know the results of their group opponents prior to kicking off.

This would factor in big time at the end of the second group phase, as Argentina kicked off against Peru they knew that to edge rivals Brazil out of a place in the final they would need to win by four clear goals. Peru simply rolled over and were swamped 6-0 by the hosts, who would later go on to beat the Netherlands 3-1 in the Final.

Brazil cried foul and a lot of theories about what actually happened in that notorious Peru match have been floated in the decades since this World Cup. Peru's keeper, who had a shocking match, was born in Argentina which didn't help with the conspiracy theories, there was also rumours that a large grain shipment was sent by Argentina to Peru after the match and that funds were sent to the Peruvian government. Another rumour is that a Colombian drug lord brokered a payoff on behalf of the Argentine dictatorship directly to the Peruvian players.

Whatever the truth of the matter is, the 1978 World Cup will always be viewed as tainted by many observers of the game.

3 - Did the CIA Poison Gordon Banks?

What football fans that are well versed on World Cup history know is that in the lead up to England's Quarter Final with West Germany in the 1970 World Cup in Mexico, the Three Lions star keeper Gordon Banks came down with food poisoning and was unable to take to the pitch in Leon. The fact that Banks' replacement Peter Bonetti let in two howlers on the way to a 3-2 loss to the German's left England's players and fans wondering "what if?".

In the subsequent decades there's been rumblings about the possibility of someone tampering with a drink Banks had with his team at an exclusive club two nights before the match. The fact that no one else in the squad came down with "Montezuma's Revenge", only their most important player, has fueled suggestions that it was a local who spiked his drink. The reigning World Cup champions were seen as arrogant by the Mexican's and the Three Lions prickly manager Sir Alf Ramsay hadn't endeared himself to the local media.

Several players in the England squad have raised the possibility that Banks may have fallen victim to something other than bad luck.

But what if it wasn't a local that slipped something into Banks beer? After the tournament another theory emerged that the CIA were nervously monitoring the political situation in Brazil and thought that a World Cup win, as it often does, would help raise the spirits of the people and they would put revolutionary talk to one side. England, coming into the tournament with arguably a stronger side than the one who had won the World Cup in 1966, were widely expected to meet Brazil in the Final and were seen as the only nation capable of preventing Pele and company from lifting the Jules Rimet trophy. In order to avoid that, the theory is that a CIA operative spiked Banks drink and caused the keeper to miss England's match with the Germans.

This may sound a little like a James Bond story, but then again this is the agency that tried to kill Fidel Castro with an exploding cigar.

2 - Did FIFA Help South Korea Reach the 2002 World Cup Semi-Final?

In 2002 the World Cup was held for the first time outside of Europe or the America's, as Japan and South Korea co-hosted the biggest event in world football.

Many neutrals, and of course the hosts themselves, hoped that the two sides could stage a great tournament and also perform well on the pitch to show the progress of Asian football.

Although Japan were disappointingly dumped out of the tournament by Turkey in the Round of 16, South Korea managed to storm through to the Semi-Finals.

Their progress though was not without controversy and, particularly in Italy, rumours persist that the Koreans had a little help in getting as far as they did.

In their second match of the group stage against a strong Portuguese side, South Korea benefited from some questionable refereeing decisions that saw two Portuguese players sent off as the hosts triumphed 1-0.

In the second round against Italy, Ecuadorian referee Byron Moreno, who was later banned for 20 matches in his own country for either a string of bad decisions, or corruption, depending upon your source, wrongly disallowed Damiano Tommasi's Golden Goal match winner for Italy, allowed a string of terrible Korean tackles, and then dubiously sent off Franceso Totti for diving. As Ahn Jung-hwan slammed in a classy winner with three minutes to go in extra time, the Azzurri were left fuming.

Moreno's later troubles with the footballing authorities in his own country and his post retirement conviction for attempting to smuggle 6 kilograms of heroin into JFK in New York in 2010 did little to quell the rumours of his impropriety.

The Spanish were also left unimpressed after they had two perfectly good goals wrongly ruled out for offside in the Quarter-Finals, a match which Korea would win on penalty kicks.

Although South Korea would eventually fall to Germany in the Semi-Final making it that far was viewed as a terrific achievement, but not one without a bit of a controversy around it.

1 - Who Messed With Tottenham's Lasagna?

Going into the final weekend of the 2005/2006 season, Tottenham held a single point advantage over rivals Arsenal for the last coveted Champions League spot.

Unfortunately for Spurs, diarrhea reared its ugly and smelly head, thus making a mess of their Champions League dreams, and not to mention their pants. After a lasagna dinner at the team hotel the night before their match with West Ham, ten of Tottenham's players complained of upset stomachs, which hampered then manager Martin Jol's team selection and severely hindered those that were able to take part in the action.

West Ham would go on to beat Spurs, which coupled with an Arsenal win over Wigan, gave the Gunners a spot in the following season's Champions League.

An irate Tottenham side pushed to have their match replayed, but the FA denied their request after the environmental health officers at Tower Hamlets Council found that the Marriott, where they had eaten the notorious lasagna, had no case to answer. The hotel was absolved of any wrongdoing, but Spurs conspiracy theorists weren't convinced that a Gunners fan had not been in the kitchen on that fateful day and derailed their final match of the season.

Football Legends Part 4 by Dylan Giala (Gallery)

2015-01-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

Dylan Giala created an incredible collection of posters of current and past football legends.

He named his collection Football legends. Here is part 4.

Simpsonized Footballers (Gallery)

2014-12-16T20:00:00.000-05:00

There are a whole host of sites out there that will take your uploaded photos and convert them into reasonable looking characters from the Simpsons, but artist Axel Lembrechts has taken the more painstaking route of re-creating football players as Simpsons character using himself and the results are terrific.

Below are a few examples of his 'Simpsonized Footballers', but if you'd like to see more of his work check out: http://axellembrechtscr7.blogspot.co.uk/

8 Footballers Who Probably Should Have Had a Salad (Gallery)

2014-12-02T20:00:00.000-05:00

Football today is all about finely tuned athletes strutting around the pitch with their toned abs and perfect hair. But the game wasn't always this way.

No, there used to be a place in professional football for average folk like you and me who didn't have club dietitians measuring their body fat on a daily basis and wagging their fingers at fine things like kegs of beer after matches and a nice light double cheese pizza after training.

The following are a few of the stockier individuals that gamely made their way out onto a professional football pitch:

Ailton

William 'Fatty' Foulke

Adriano

Jeroen Verhoeven

Neville Southall

Micky Quinn

Ronaldo

Tomas Brolin

Football Legends Part 2 by Dylan Giala (Gallery)

2014-11-17T08:00:00.001-05:00

Dylan Giala created an incredible collection of posters of current and past football legends.

He named his collection Football legends. Here is part 2

Footballs Mavericks: Edmundo

2014-11-12T16:00:00.000-05:00

When your nickname is "Animal" logic dictates that you are no choir boy, and no one would ever accuse Brazil's Edmundo of being that.

This week in Football's Mavericks we look back at the colourful career of the former Brazilian international who is arguably more famous for his combustible nature than his on the pitch accomplishments.

Red cards, fights with teammates and opponents, a drunken chimpanzee, and claiming that he hadn't pointed to his balls in front of a group of fans, but rather he "was stretching his groin" are what "O Animal" is most famous for.

Born in April 1971 in Rio de Janeiro, Edmundo began his career with Vasco da Gama, his first of five separate spells at the club. After one full season at Vasco he was transferred to Palmeiras and it was there that his disciplinary problems began to come to the fore.

Despite helping the club win the Campeonato Paulista, the Torneio Rio-Sao Paulo and Campeonato Brasileiro, along with being selected for Brazil, he was red carded five times in his first year with Palmeiras.

He was also lucky to escape a lengthy ban after shoving his hand into a referee's face after one of his sendings off. This act of madness though did keep him out of Brazil's successful 1994 World Cup squad.

The following season wouldn't see him learn his lesson though as he was banned, and subsequently investigated by the police, for sparking a mass brawl against São Paulo and then later placed under house arrest in Ecuador after smashing a television camera following a missed penalty.

After falling out with management and most of the players at Palmeiras, the talented, but volatile Edmundo was transferred to Flamengo. Proving that he hadn't mellowed after the move he wasn't at the club long before he sparked a massive brawl, involving most of the players and both coaches, during a Supercopa Libertadores victory at home to Argentina's Velez Sarsfield.

In December 1995, Edmundo was involved in tragedy as a car he was driving killed three people. He was later charged with drunk driving, although the amount of alcohol he had drunk has often been disputed.

On the football side, after further issues he bounced over to Corinthians and then back to Vasco, before finally engineering a move to Fiorentina in Italy's Serie A.

Along the way though he had worked his way back into the Brazilian team that won the 1997 Copa America, and was selected for the 1998 World Cup.

After only appearing as a sub in one group stage match he was involved in one of the more controversial incidents in World Cup history. On the eve of the 1998 Final, Brazil's talisman Ronaldo suffered what from all accounts was a seizure and was left out of Mario Zagallo's starting eleven. Edmundo was then inserted into the side in his place.

However, just prior to kickoff for reasons that have never been adequately explained, a clearly unfit Ronaldo was put back into the side ahead of Edmundo.

Being dropped from the biggest game of his life didn't sit well with "O Animal" and he freaked out in the Brazilian dressing room, thus adding to the chaos of their preparations for the World Cup Final.

The hosts France would go on to hammer Brazil 3-0, with a listless Ronaldo proving to be a non-factor.

Back at club level, Edmundo continued to have issues with his discipline as he first insisted on having the right to leave Fiorentina to attend the Rio Carnival written into his contract, but would then end up sporadically leaving the club to return to Brazil whenever he felt like it anyway.

Despite his issues he did hit a few runs of good form at the club, and managed to help Fiorentina to the top of the table in early 1999, before falling out with management and teammates again after leaving the club in the lurch with another of his self scheduled mid-season holidays in Brazil.

Back at Vasco he found himself in hot water with animal welfare groups after being accused of getting a chimpanzee named Pedrinho drunk on Whiskey and Beer at a birthday party for his son.

Edmundo also became involved in a power struggle with former international teammate Romario at Vasco and the two former friends refused to even speak to each other on the pitch.

The player also had written into his contract that Vasco could not interfere in his private life, which led to numerous nights enjoying Brazilian nightclubs.

After the trauma of the 1998 World Cup Final, "O Animal" barely featured for Brazil again and spent the last decade of his long career bouncing between clubs. He found brief success in Japan's J-League with Tokyo Verdy when he netted 18 goals in 31 appearances, but before long he longed to be back in Brazil and finished out his career there in 2008 with his beloved Vasco da Gama.

Despite a career marked with controversy and temper tantrums, which led to him changing clubs 17 times in his 18 year career, Edmundo managed 190 goals over his career and is still seen as an idol by many Vasco supporters.

Football Legends Part 1 by Dylan Giala (Gallery)

2014-11-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

Dylan Giala created an incredible collection of posters of current and past football legends.

He named his collection Football legends. Here is part 1.

Footballers in the Style of Shepard Fairey by Dev Ethan (Gallery)

2014-11-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

“Footballers in the Style of Shepard Fairey was inspired, of course, by the iconic Obama Hope posters used for his political campaign in 2008 created by Shephard Fairey. “ This is how design creator Dev Ethan describes this project.

If you enjoy his work and would like to purchase some of his posters you can do so at Postergully.com

Players on Halloween (Gallery)

2014-10-31T20:00:00.000-04:00

I have a simple rule when kids come to my door on Halloween, that is if a kid's smokes falls out of his or her pocket when they say trick or treat, they're too damn old and aren't getting a treat.

That being said, I actually love Halloween and typically host or attend a party the weekend around October 31 and costumes are always mandatory.

Some of our favourite football players seem to enjoy getting into the Halloween swing of things as well and here are some of the more memorable costumes that some of them have donned in recent years:

Michael Carrick

Javier Manquillo

Rio Ferdinand and Robin van Persie

Ronaldo

Lionel Messi

Jose Enrique

Alex Morgan and Syndey Leroux

Neymar

FFN - Ronaldo Begins Baseball Career, Joins Japanese League

2014-08-08T18:00:00.000-04:00

Former Brazilian international striker and 2002 World Cup hero Ronaldo has joined the Japanese professional baseball league, signing with first place team Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks for the rest of the year.

In his introduction interview with the club, Ronaldo said "I've watched baseball since I was a kid, and I miss sports. My current weight is perfect for the game of baseball and although I'm not sure how often coach Akiyama will play me, I would like to help the team as much as I can".

When asked why he chose Japan, Ronaldo replied "I was here to revive my football career, but I didn't pass my physical exam at a local J.League 2 club. My agent then suggested I try out for a baseball club since we had already pre-paid for our hotel for an additional 3 days. My agent had seen me play baseball before with my nephews, so he knew I had a chance".

The Brazilian also suggested that memories of the 2002 World Cup were a big part of his efforts to find work in Japan. The Brazilian said "This was the last place I felt like I was doing something right. After I left Japan with the World Cup title, I felt like I was cursed and now I'm back to break that spell".

Ronaldo made his debut at first base in a game against the Saitama Seibu Lions. In his only at bat he faced three pitches and was struck out looking.

Thank you for reading Friday's Fake News. Hope you enjoyed.

10 Fat Footballers

2014-07-18T18:00:00.000-04:00

So, as if Newcastle United didn't have enough issues to deal with on and off the pitch, the club has now fined French winger Hatem Ben-Arfa for showing up after holidays looking a bit overweight. But being fat, while not at all the norm in football has been around for many years as the list below will prove.

Sol Campbell

A great footballer earlier in his career, Sol Campbell was never a small guy. But by the time he hit the pitch with Newcastle United in 2010 in what was his last year as a professional footballer, Campbell had gained a few pounds and had lost quite a bit of speed. He played for the Magpies just seven times that season before retiring from football.

Ailton

Aílton Gonçalves da Silva, a big boy with a big name. Ailton as he is known to most was pretty much always on the chubby side. But the Brazilian striker does not let his weight get the better of him, and at 40 years of age still plays professional for BFV Hassia Bingen, a club in the German 5th tier.

Andy Reid

Currently with Nottingham Forrest, this Irish midfielder unlike most others on this list startd gaining weight early in his career. Pictured below in a Sunderland shirt, Reid spent time with the Black Cats when he was just 26-29 years old.

Collin Samuel

This Trinidad & Tobago striker for whatever reason has spent most of his career in Scotland. He did spend a little time in Canada with Toronto FC at which time I personally heard the home crowd sing "who ate all the pies?" at the big man. After two seasons at TFC Samuel went back to Scotland.

Mido

The Egyptian trouble maker was more than just a coach's headache because of his poor attitude. Mido started gaining weight in a very early "footballing age". Whether because he was fat, or maybe just because his magnificent football skills had just seemed to turn-off one day, he retired from football in 2013 at just 30 years old.

Miguel Herrera

Herrera was the face of the 2014 World Cup for a little while after the Mexican coach's celebrations, face expressions and yelling videos went viral over the internet. Sure he is pretty fat right now, but he wasn't very skinny when he played in the Mexican league and internationally for his country as well.

Neville Southall

The Welsh goalkeeper wasn't always as big as the photo below would suggest. He was a big guy in his 17 years with Everton, but not fat. In his later footballing years however Southalll gained the pounds quick.

Ronaldo

Probably the most famous fat footballer is Brazilian legend Ronaldo. After surpassing the all time scoring record in the World Cup, Ronaldo gained what seemed to be a pound per minute. Maybe now that Miroslav Klose had passed Ronaldo's scoring tally, the Brazilian can go on a diet and come out of international retirement.

Salvador Cabanas

The Paraguayan footballer had his days on and off the weight throughout his career. Some years he looked quite skinny while on other occasions he seemed more likely to be a boxer than a striker in the Mexican league.

Winston Bogarde

Dutch international defender Bogarde was pretty much always on the bigger side. But at one point while playing for Ajax in his native Netherlands he really gained the pounds. He did seem to manage to shed the weight with his later clubs AC Milan, Barcelona and Chelsea.

5 Reasons You Should Back Germany to Win the 2014 World Cup

2014-07-05T14:00:00.000-04:00

For the German national team, it will be a World Cup record-setting fourth appearance in a row in the semi-finals of the big tournament. If you think about their achievement, the first thing you will notice is the fact that the Germans have not missed out on this stage of the World Cup since 1998 in France where they lost in the quarter-finals to Croatia. The other thing you may notice, is that this record-braking fourth consecutive time in the semi-finals did not mean a World Cup title on any of the three previous occasions. So will it this year? Here are five great reasons why you should back the Germans to win their first World Cup title since 1990.

#5 – Winning in America

A European squad has never won a World Cup that was hosted on either North, Central or South American soil. That’s right. On the 7 occasions that tournament has been hosted between Uruguay, Brazil, Chile, Argentina, Mexico and the United States, a European country has never won the title. Everyone loves a story of “first time”, and although the Netherlands are also still in the running, who would deserve to break that record more than the 3 time World Champions Germany. Brazil is the only non-European nation to win the title in Europe (Sweden 1958), so it sure is about time a European squad did the same in South American.

#4 – The Others

No, not like the 2001 flick with Nicole Kidman. “The others” refers to the other squads that are left in this tournament, and guess what, there’s not a single team left that is an absolute favorite to win the whole thing. Brazil will be missing their captain Thiago Silva due to yellow card accumulation and of course Neymar who is out for the rest of the tournament after his injury against the Colombians. Argentina did not impress the entire tournament and neither have the Belgians really. Los Ticos, while a huge surprise to get where they are, are not a title threat and the Dutch, while probably would be the biggest challenge for the Germans in the finals have quite a record of missing out on the glory. What better year for the Germans to lift their fourth title than this one?

#3 – Growing Up

Germany has now accumulated talent that is still fairly young, only this year they have big tournament experience under their belt. Manuel Neuer, Sami Khedira, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Mesut Özil, Lukas Podolski, Thomas Müller, Per Mertesacker, Toni Kroos and Jérôme Boateng were all a part of the German team that won third place four years ago in South Africa. This year, these players’ average age is 26.7 years. That means that they are very much in their prime, but with all that previous major tournament experience they know exactly what the expectations are and how to handle the pressure of a huge event. That, plus guys like Klose and Lahm, and the Germans have an outstanding balance of fresh legs and experience.

#2 – That Bench

What else can really be said about this, aside from the fact that the Germans by far have the best depth in the 2014 World Cup. Whatever their starting lineup may look like, the names of the players that are left by Joachim Low on the bench look just as impressive as those on the pitch. Just taking the match against the French as an example, Germany’s bench included Per Mertesacker, Mario Götze, André Schürrle, Julian Draxler and Lukas Podolski.

#1 – Miroslav Klose

He has won the third place in World Cups 2006 and 2010. He has lost in the World Cup finals in 2002. He has done the same in the Euros in 2012 (third place) and 2008 (runner-up). Miroslav Klose has been closer to a major title than most players will ever dream of, and yet this man who is 1 goal away from braking Brazil’s Ronaldo’s all-time World Cup goal scoring record, has never won a major trophy for his country in his incredible 135 caps (so far) with his national team. If you don’t want to see Miroslav Klose lift the World Cup title you are either Dutch, Argentine, Brazilian or just simply out of your mind, because there is probably not one player in the world that deserves to win the title in what is surely to be his last World Cup appearance at the age of 36.

Best Tweets from the 2014 World Cup Group Stage

2014-06-28T14:00:00.000-04:00

With the World Cup's Group Stage finished and the knockout rounds starting this weekend, we took a moment to capture some of the Tweets that made us laugh over the past two weeks.

These tweets, from writers, celebrities and fans, often capture the events on and off the pitch as they occur in a unique lens and are of course completely uncensored.

If you come across any gems that we've missed, feel free to copy them into the comments below.

Bits and Pieces

MESSI!!! A goal is a dream with a deadline…this one is a wet dream! #Messi leaves #Iran in acid!!!!
— Ray Hudson (@RayHudson) June 21, 2014

I quite like Robben, probably because he reminds me of one of my testicles
— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) June 23, 2014

Fuck knows what FIFA would do if they saw me in the changing room. Once bit Matt Taylor's ballbag, pulled it out & played it like a banjo.
— notBigSam (@TheBig_Sam) June 26, 2014

How can you not love a team who's coach is called Jose Peckerman?
— Irvine Welsh (@WelshIrvine) June 24, 2014

Luis Suarez Bites Again

Ronaldo on Suarez: "My young kids used to bite me and I'd punish them. In my home, punishment is called the dark room with a big bad wolf"
— Owen Gibson (@owen_g) June 26, 2014

If you really think about it, this sentence is pretty fucking mental RT @ESPNFC The ESPN panel looks back at Suarez's past biting incidents.
— Jay (@Jay_in_Essex) June 24, 2014

He's not allowed in stadiums either. Literally like a dog. Except not even as a guide.
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 26, 2014

Picturing Luis Suarez settling down to a game of FIFA and an actual FIFA representative tapping on his window and wagging his finger at him.
— pauliegunn (@PaulGunning1) June 26, 2014

Seen enough WWE to know that this stadium ban means Suarez is gonna come out the crowd when the ref is k.o'd & score the winner in the final
— Brian (@Brianatlive) June 26, 2014

Portugal Crash Out

Portugal’s midfield has all the resistance of wet toilet paper right now.
— Iain Macintosh (@iainmacintosh) June 26, 2014

IGNORE THE HATERS AND LOSERS NANI MATE, I THINK THE STARS ON YOUR HEAD ARE COOL
— NEO (@WELCOME_HERRERA) June 26, 2014

I missed Ronaldo scoring, but I bet he was happy. I bet he was as happy as he was the other night. He's a happy team player, that one.
— Doc (@ManhattanDoc) June 26, 2014

And at the back of the stands, the ghost of Jozy Altidore smiles, winks and then vanishes. His work here is done.
— Iain Macintosh (@iainmacintosh) June 26, 2014

England Suffer Through Their Worst World Cup Campaign

I've got my face painted like an English Bulldog, but fuck me, that Italian national anthem has me aroused. I could genuinely wank to it.
— notBigSam (@TheBig_Sam) June 14, 2014

Painful to watch England now we're out. Like digging up a dead pet for a last look.
— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets) June 24, 2014

This World Cup has been disappointing for England but on the upside the games haven't been ruined by the fuckin England band. #everycloud
— STAND (@STANDfanzine) June 24, 2014

Fun and Refreshments During the World Cup

Ramos joins Ozil on my list of players who look like they're on pretty decent ecstasy
— Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) June 18, 2014

You just know if your name was Boubacar Barry people would constantly expect you to be a total party animal. #WorldCup
— The Yorkies (@theyorkies1812) June 19, 2014

The sudden "we've always been into soccer" phenom has even spread to the gangbanger house on my walking path. Good work, FIFA.
— Ed Brubaker (@brubaker) June 26, 2014

What a shame. Michael Schumacher just watched 5 minutes of this and slipped back into a coma :( #nigeriavsiran
— Iain Davidson (@SnideRogue) June 16, 2014

It's a good thing this game is merely a clever ruse by Ben Affleck to smuggle Fulham midfielders out of Iran.
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 16, 2014

How many people have picked up World Cup injuries on the trek from couch to fridge? Pal of mine fell after too much Stella and did his knee.
— Irvine Welsh (@WelshIrvine) June 26, 2014

The World Cup Logo Is Actually Picard Facepalming http://t.co/vdKbYKmCfX pic.twitter.com/WNOJvpk2eg
— neatorama (@neatorama) June 24, 2014

2014 World Cup Match Day 15: Goals & Highlights

2014-06-26T20:00:00.000-04:00

Game 42: USA 0-1 Germany

Game 43: Portugal 2-1 Ghana

Game 44: Korea Republic 0-1 Belgium

Game 45: Russia 1-1 Algeria

If Only Gel Could Hold It Together - Portugal's Collapse

2014-06-16T17:00:00.002-04:00

Going into today’s match, most Portugal fans knew that they needed a fully fit Cristiano Ronaldo and all the pieces to fall in place in order for their country to defeat the heavy favorite Germans.

When I saw the players like Nani and Ronaldo walking on to the field with new haircuts, I knew this game was going to be a long one for the Portuguese fans. Perhaps Paulo Bento’s pre game speech to his troops was “We are going lose this game fellas, but at least let’s do it in style”. When you take this much time on your hair as you lead into the opening match of your World Cup, it shows that your priorities are probably not in the right place.

I am obviously being sarcastic, but some of what I am saying holds true. This Portugal side from the time it was announced didn’t hold enough pieces to be competitive at the world stage. Paulo Bento picked players that either didn’t start for their clubs, had injuries coming into the tournament or plain and simple were just not good enough to represent Portugal.

Most will point to Cristiano Ronaldo after this game, but I find that a bit unfair to Portugal’s captain. He is the best in the world at the moment, but Portugal is not Real Madrid. This would be like putting him at Yeovil Town and expect him to win the Ballon d’Or every year.

He came into this World Cup with two injuries, and regardless of what he is telling the media he is not 100% that was obvious in how he played today. Add to that a squad made up of players coming off injuries or nursing injuries and others that played more on their Xbox than on a field and you have the recipe for disaster and disaster it was.

Germany showed Portugal that what you need in order to win at this stage are players that come ready to play and give it their all, not players that are there for the vacation, free haircuts and bonus air miles. Players like Postiga that was injured almost all season with Lazio and makes the squad. He wasn’t even the first option today when Hugo Almeida was subbed off with an injury. If he wasn’t fit, and how can someone be when they have played less than 10 games since January, why even bring him to Brazil? These are the questions that Paulo Bento should have to answer to, but there is no accountability in this team and in the Federation.

To add to the loss, you have the injuries to Coentrao and Almeida. These players had injury problems coming into the tournament, in the case of Coentrao he had been in doubt up until yesterday. Looking at two must win games with a team made of lesser parts is what Portugal has to look forward to.

This was the worst possible scenario, well not worst, if Ronaldo had gotten injured and ruined his hair than I think we would have a national crisis in Portugal with the President having to declare martial law. Since it was only a 4-0 loss to Germany, Almeida and Coentrao injured and doubtful for the rest of the tournament and Pepe getting a red card for his attempt to give Muller an eskimo kiss but letting his huge forehead get in the way, the sky is not falling. Paulo Bento is not Chicken Little; he understands what has to be done.

Now you are asking yourself, and what has to be done? Well, my friends, like The Rock would say, Portugal just needs to know their role and shut their mouths, and while at it, get some better gel so Nani and Cristiano Ronaldo can ensure their hair stays fresh for 90 minutes.

To be good, you have to look good, and in this case looking good will have to be good enough.

Any Given Sunday - Fancy Cleats & Willy on Wheels

2014-06-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

In today’s Any Given Sunday, I am going to take a look at two things I don’t understand, colorful cleats and obese people driving motorized carts.

You are probably thinking, what these two things have to do with football, well, you are probably wondering that at least about one of them. Stick around and you will find out.

Colorful Cleats

During the World Cup, all the big shoe manufactures, like Nike, Adidas and Puma release new cleats and use the World Cup players to promote them to the masses. It is a great marketing strategy, after all the amount of people around the world tuning in to watch the matches, is far greater than what they could reach with any add. Some of the cleats are so flashy that it looks like you have a disco at your feet and I am ok with that.

I don’t have an issue if Neymar Jr has bright orange, lime, purple and silver cleats. Guys like him, Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo can do it. They have the skills to back up the cleats. See, to me, the cleats color should be a reflection of the skill set of the person wearing them. Let me explain that, if you are a horrible player and can barely string two passes together and can’t play the game unless you have an Xbox controller in hand, than you should wear black shoes. If you know how to play but are not very good, you can have white, if you are a mini Neymar you can wear any color you want.

I call it, color coding. The cleats color should be a complete reflection of your own skill set. What bothers me is people going to stores and buying cleats designed for Cristiano Ronaldo, when they play like Stephen Hawking.

Give your head a shake and like The Rock would say, know your role and stop wearing those damn cleats. You suck!!!!

Obese Motorized People

It is Saturday morning and I am at the local grocery store trying to stock up on World Cup food so I can have a weekend of a king. I like to make sure I have everything I need so my World Cup viewing experience is as good as it can be. All was going well until I almost get run over by a motorized obese person doing more than the speed limit on isle 3.

I am going to throw a wild guess out there and say that the reason we don’t have obese football players is because they RUN. I am not asking you to run, I am asking you to walk, and perhaps you can walk slowly if that is more of your liking. All I want is to safely walk in my local grocery store, pick up supplies for what will be an epic weekend of World Cup football without getting run over by Free Willy on wheels.

Some of you are probably reading this and thinking, you are so rude, that person may have a medical condition. It isn’t a medical condition, it is a religious condition, and the bible called it gluttony.

Do some exercise, even if it means it’s looking for cookies from isle to isle. At the very least you are moving around and that is an improvement, because the less you do, the less your body will want to do.

If you disagree or if you are an enlightened soul that happens to agree with me, leave me a comment below, just like Tim would say, comments are welcomed and appreciated.

Top 10 World Cup Goals (Gallery)

2014-06-04T15:00:00.000-04:00

A week away from the start of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, I dove into the archives and pulled out the Top 10 World Cup goals.

Number 10 - Johan Cruyff (Netherlands - Germany 1974)

Number 9 - Bergkamp (Netherlands - France 1998)

Number 8 - Josimar (Brazil - Mexico 1986)

Number 7 - Ronaldo (Brazil - Germany 2006)

Number 6 - Michael Owen (England - France 1998)

Number 5 - Al Owayran (Saudi Arabia - USA 1994)

Number 4 - Roberto Baggio (Italy - Italy 1990)

Number 3 - Negrete (Mexico - Mexico 1986)

Number 2 - Pele (Brazil - Sweden 1958)

Number 1 - Maradona (Argentina - Mexico 1986)

Childhood Photos of World Cup Footballers (Gallery - Part 2)

2014-05-31T18:00:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not, the talented footballers heading to Brazil in a couple of weeks to battle it out for the title of World Champions, also used to be children just like you and I. Here is the 2nd part of some great childhood photos of another 22 football celebrities.

SEE PART 1 HERE >

FOOTY FAIR

Throwback Thursdays: The 1996 Summer Olympic Games - When The Super Eagles Soared

Throwback Thursdays: Ronaldo and Brazil's Redemption in Japan

5 Footballers Who Got Caught With Their Pants Down

1.) Giggsy Keeps it In the Family

2.) John Terry Takes One From the Team

3.) Ashley Cole Get's Around

4.) Kolo Toure the Car Salesman

5.) Ronaldo Gets More Than He Bargained For

5 Iconic National Teams That Ultimately Failed

Hungary 1954

Netherlands 1974

Brazil 1982

Denmark 1986

Brazil 1998

The Roundtable: The Best Player You've Seen in Person

The Round Table: Neymar, Messi and Suarez

Messi, Suarez and Neymar. Are they the greatest attacking threesome you've ever seen in football?

Football Players Past & Present by Kieran Carroll (Gallery)

Five Football Conspiracy Theories

5 - Did Nike Force Brazil to Play Ronaldo in the 1998 World Cup Final?

4 - Was the 1978 World Cup Fixed?

3 - Did the CIA Poison Gordon Banks?

2 - Did FIFA Help South Korea Reach the 2002 World Cup Semi-Final?

1 - Who Messed With Tottenham's Lasagna?

Football Legends Part 4 by Dylan Giala (Gallery)

Simpsonized Footballers (Gallery)

8 Footballers Who Probably Should Have Had a Salad (Gallery)

Football Legends Part 2 by Dylan Giala (Gallery)

Footballs Mavericks: Edmundo

Football Legends Part 1 by Dylan Giala (Gallery)

Footballers in the Style of Shepard Fairey by Dev Ethan (Gallery)

Players on Halloween (Gallery)

FFN - Ronaldo Begins Baseball Career, Joins Japanese League

10 Fat Footballers

Sol Campbell

Ailton

Andy Reid

Collin Samuel

Mido

Miguel Herrera

Neville Southall

Ronaldo

Salvador Cabanas

Winston Bogarde

5 Reasons You Should Back Germany to Win the 2014 World Cup

#5 – Winning in America

#4 – The Others

#3 – Growing Up

#2 – That Bench

#1 – Miroslav Klose

Best Tweets from the 2014 World Cup Group Stage

Bits and Pieces

Luis Suarez Bites Again

Portugal Crash Out

England Suffer Through Their Worst World Cup Campaign

Fun and Refreshments During the World Cup

2014 World Cup Match Day 15: Goals & Highlights

Game 42: USA 0-1 Germany

Game 43: Portugal 2-1 Ghana

Game 44: Korea Republic 0-1 Belgium

Game 45: Russia 1-1 Algeria

If Only Gel Could Hold It Together - Portugal's Collapse

Any Given Sunday - Fancy Cleats & Willy on Wheels

Colorful Cleats

Obese Motorized People

Top 10 World Cup Goals (Gallery)

Number 10 - Johan Cruyff (Netherlands - Germany 1974)

Number 9 - Bergkamp (Netherlands - France 1998)

Number 8 - Josimar (Brazil - Mexico 1986)

Number 7 - Ronaldo (Brazil - Germany 2006)

Number 6 - Michael Owen (England - France 1998)

Number 5 - Al Owayran (Saudi Arabia - USA 1994)

Number 4 - Roberto Baggio (Italy - Italy 1990)

Number 3 - Negrete (Mexico - Mexico 1986)

Number 2 - Pele (Brazil - Sweden 1958)

Number 1 - Maradona (Argentina - Mexico 1986)

Childhood Photos of World Cup Footballers (Gallery - Part 2)

Lionel Messi (Argentina)

Thibaut Courtois (Belgium)