FOOTY FAIR

Throwback Thursdays: Ajax Introduce the World to Total Football

2016-06-02T08:00:00.000-04:00

Exactly forty-five years ago today, Amsterdam powerhouse Ajax won the first of their eventual three straight European Cups by defeating Panathinaikos 2-0 at Wembley Stadium in London.

For Ajax it was their second trip to the final, following a 4-1 defeat to AC Milan in 1969.

Throughout much of their history Ajax had a tradition of playing exciting attacking football, but it would be after the appointment of former player Rinus Michels as manager in 1965 that the club would forge the identity that the Dutch giants are known for today.

Building upon Ajax's existing ethos for playing a passing game and adapting the ideas of Gusztáv Sebes, who had managed a flexible and exhilarating Hungarian national side in the 1950's, Michels implemented a system that would come to be coined "Total Football".

Although his side played in a basic 4-3-3 formation, the Ajax players were well drilled in picking up positions left vacated by a teammate making a run. The team shape and the spacing between players was never lost, as players rotated across the pitch.

In order to play this system, the player needed to be exceptionally fit and possess great spatial awareness, so they could easily pickup where they should move and where they should not in relation to their teammates and opponents.

Their opponents in the final were Athens side Panathinaikos, who are still the only Greek club to make it to the final of the European Cup.

Thanks to high scoring forward Antonis Antoniadis and under the watchful eye of manager Ferenc Puskás, the legendary former Hungarian striker, the Greek side had reached the final with impressive aggregate wins over Everton and Red Star Belgrade.

After taking a 5th-minute lead through Dick van Dijk it was Ajax's defense, rather than their much lauded attack, that came to the fore as they completely negated their opponents forwards.

Antoniadis struggled to get into the game, and the gig was up in the 87th minute when Arie Haan added a second for Ajax.

Despite Michels departure for Barcelona following this victory, over the next two seasons the Amsterdam club would go on to win two more European Cups, making it three in succession.

Throwback Thursdays: Johan Cruyff - The Total Footballer

2016-03-24T09:45:00.000-04:00

In the lead up to the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, I wrote a short piece on the legendary Johan Cruyff and his impact on the 1974 World Cup. With the sad news this morning that the Dutch maestro has died of cancer at age 68, I thought it appropriate to re-post that article for Throwback Thursday.

Our thoughts are with Mr. Cruyff's family and friends at this time.
___________________________________________________________________________

In the long history of football, how many players have had a move named after them and, on top of that, have had their name become synonymous with an entire system of play?

Thanks to the great Johan Cruyff, and the brilliant Dutch side he led to the 1974 World Cup Final, the Cruyff Turn and Total Football are integral parts of the football lexicon.

Prior to the late 1960's, the Netherlands were considered to be minnows of European football, often suffering humiliating defeats in internationals.

With the advent of a professional league in 1954, and the subsequent emergence of Feyenoord and Ajax as top European sides, the Dutch National side began to build some momentum in the early 1970's and would become a surprising major player on the world stage.

Total Football, as it was later coined, involved the flexible movement of players all across the pitch, moving and covering for each other to fill spaces and confuse opposition markers. This system, which was heavily influenced by the great Hungarian side of the 1950's, required players to be comfortable with taking on different roles and to have the intelligence to adapt as the teams shape could change at any time during a match.

In order for this system to truly work, it needed an orchestrator and there was no one better suited to this role than the brilliant Johan Cruyff. Joining Ajax's famous youth academy at the age of ten, Cruyff was already a three time Ballon D'Or and European Cup winner by the time he led the Netherlands into the 1974 World Cup.

A strong, vocal presence on the pitch, Cruyff served as coach Rinus Michels on pitch general, along with effortlessly floating between wings, into a withdrawn midfield role and then upfront to finish off attacks. He was the perfect model of the "Total Footballer", as he was comfortable in taking on different roles during different situations in a match.

Cruyff has often been compared to a dancer in the way he gracefully moved on the pitch, and this was clearly evidenced in Holland's first round match against Sweden when he unveiled the move that still carries his name. Facing defender Jan Ollsson, Cruyff shaped as if he was going to cross the ball, but instead he dragged it behind his planted leg, pivoted 180 degrees and left the defender for dead.

Playing some thrilling football, Holland easily progressed through the first round of the World Cup with wins over Uruguay and Bulgaria, either side of a draw with Sweden.

In the second group stage, Cruyff found the net twice in a thrilling 4-0 demolition of Argentina. After a 2-0 win over East Germany, Holland defeated the defending champion Brazilians 2-0 with Cruyff on target again.

In the World Cup Final against the hosts, West Germany, Cruyff took the ball from the kickoff and displaying the type of football that won this great Dutch side so many fans, the Oranje passed the ball around 13 times, before Cruyff burst into the box and was upended for a penalty. Without a single German player touching the ball, Johan Neeskens scored from the spot to give the Dutch the lead. Unfortunately for Cruyff and company, West Germany got back into the match through Paul Breitner and Gerd Muller, while Berti Vogts and Franz Beckenbauer shackled Cruyff for the remainder of the match.

Despite their loss in the final, and the fact that Johan Cruyff never played in another World Cup, the impact he and his side had in 1974 will never be forgotten.

Edwin van der Sar Is Back in Football With 4th Tier Dutch Club

2016-03-13T09:13:00.001-04:00

Eight years removed from his last appearance for the Dutch national team and about six seasons since officially retiring from football, one of the great goalkeepers of our time Edwin van der Sar is back in goal, this time with 4th tier Dutch club Voetbalvereniging Noordwijk.

But the former Dutch international is unlikely to stick around for too long, as the 6 ft 6" skinny man is simply helping the club who lost their first choice keeper Mustafa Amezrine to injury.

Based in Noordwijk, South Holland, the club is in a neighboring town to van der Sar's birth place of Voorhout and the club itself is the last of van der Sar's youth teams before moving on to play for much bigger name organizations such as Ajax, Juventus, Manchester United and a stint at Fulham that I find odd to this very day.

At 45 years of age Edwin made his presence felt immediately as he saved a penalty shot in his out "out of retirement debut" on March 12, helping his new club to a 1-1 draw against club Jodan Boys.

See van der Sar's penalty save from this past Saturday

4 Players Who Turned Their Backs on Canada

2015-11-17T12:00:00.000-05:00

With Ireland sending fans in Dublin home happy last night by qualifying for France 2016, a few Canadian National Team supporters couldn't help but have a chuckle at Bosnia's goalkeeper, Asmir Begović who saw his side's hopes dashed.

Begovic, like the others on this list, could have played for Canada but instead opted to play for a nation other than the red and white of Canada.

Asmir Begović - Bosnia

Born in the former Yugoslavia, at age four Begović and his family fled the region during the war, eventually ending up in Canada. He made 11 appearances for the Canada U20 side and despite repeated statements that he was committed to playing for Canada, he made overtures to the Bosnian FA behind the scenes and eventually switched his allegiances to them.

Jonathan de Guzmán - Netherlands

Unlike his older brother Julian, Jonathan de Guzmán chose to spurn the chance to play for the country of his birth by taking up Dutch citizenship and eventually debuting for the Netherlands in 2013. De Guzmán had hinted as late as 2012 that he might join up with Canada, but it turned out he was just playing a waiting game with the Netherlands until they called upon him. So he's quite understandably thought of as a villain in Canada.

Owen Hargreaves - England

Born in Alberta, Canada to a Welsh mother and an English father, Owen Hargreaves was eligible for Wales, England and Canada, but chose the more secure route when it comes to qualifying for major tournaments and committed to England. The fact that he had been playing in Europe since his mid-teens and never represented Canada at any level didn't matter to some Canadians who still viewed him as a traitor.

Sydney Leroux - USA

Probably the most hated player in Canada, Sydney Leroux opted to ditch the country she was born in and played youth soccer in, for the opportunity to ride the bench for the United States Women's National Team. She also once accused the BMO Field crowd in Toronto of racially abusing her, but later admitted that this hadn't happened. Charming.

The Dutch are in Trouble

2015-09-07T16:00:00.000-04:00

Four hundred and twenty three days ago, Dutch national football team members were celebrating a third place finish at the 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil. Winning the bronze medal was perhaps not the ultimate goal for Louis van Gaal's side, but a third place in the biggest tournament in the world is not a bad result at all.

Fast forward two months and the Dutch national team found itself in Prague, contesting its first Euro 2016 qualification match against hosts Czech Republic. Having been drawn from the first pot as the third highest ranked European team, there was little doubt that The Netherlands would be able to qualify for the tournament in France. Perhaps the Czechs were seen as the toughest hurdle the Dutch would have to pass, or maybe even Pavel Vrba's side would not be strong enough to hold off the Oranje. After all, leading up to the 2014 World Cup tournament Holland came out of their qualifying group practically perfect with just one draw and nine wins from their ten matches. That and the fact that the 2016 Euro's were the first to expand the tournament to 24 instead of 16 teams, the Dutch were in many minds going to cruise right through.

That day in Prague proved otherwise however. The Czech's put Holland's weaknesses on display and questions were being asked from the very start. A 2-1 defeat to a good Czech side on the road may not have been a ludicrous result, but what followed may as well be called a disaster.

After Czech Republic the Dutch came home to host minnows Kazakhstan, a team that over the qualifying campaign proved to be the worst in the group. The Kazakhs scored first and held on to a 1-0 lead in Amsterdam until Holland piled on three of their own in a span of 20 minutes in the second half. Despite conceding the first goal, life in the KNVB seemed to be back to normal.

Guus Hiddink who replaced van Gaal after the 2014 World Cup would last just four more qualifying matches. In those four games an emphatic 6-0 win against Latvia and again a 2-0 victory against the same opponents on the road were seen as a given. It's the other two matches that would end Hiddink's stint with the Dutch this time.

After their win at home to Kazakhstan, Holland travelled to Iceland. The hosts managed to keep a clean-sheet and send the Dutch home with their tails between their legs with a 2-0 defeat. The other shaky result was a 1-1 draw with Turkey in front of nearly fifty thousand home fans at the Amsterdam Arena.

Former Dutch international Danny Blind was named as Hiddink's replacement. His first test was a home date with none other than Iceland and then off to Turkey, head on clashes with the two teams that put his predecessor out of a job.

Despite their superior statistical numbers against Iceland the Dutch paid the price after a stupid red card for defender Martins Indi saw Iceland go 1-0 up on a penalty and winning the match having been able to keep the hosts off the board. Needless to say the result came as a shock to the Dutch and European football fans alike. Second meeting with Iceland equalled the second time Holland could not score past the island nation.

Against the Turks in Konya it was a different story altogether. Three goals from the home side and again the men in orange (or in white on this particular day) could not score a single goal and the message was clear; the Dutch are in trouble!

With two matches to go in the qualifying campaign Holland's only chances of competing next year in France will be over the playoff faze of the competition as both the Czech's and Iceland have secured their places as the two top seeds in the group.

The Dutch are currently sitting in fourth place, two points behind the Turks for that all important playoff spot. Their only hope remains the fact that Turkey will play a bit of a harder schedule in their remaining two matches as they will have to take on the two teams occupying the first two places in the group. While the Dutch also have to face the Czech Republic however, they still have a date in Astana, a match against weak Kazakhstan which may prove crucial to Holland's qualifying chances.

The World's Biggest Amateur Derby (Probably) - Copa 90 (Video)

2015-04-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

The Spakenburg Derby could very well be the biggest, most intense derby in the entire world. taking place in the northern Dutch village of Spakenburg, meetings between SV Spakenburg and IJsselmeervogels are always something to look forward to. With tifos, pyro and intense support, this derby is unlike any other mainly because of the low-level stage it is played on. The support in particular is absolutely incredible and our friends at Copa 90 did a great job of investigating what all the hype is about.

Football Club Babes - Dutch International Anna Hoogendijk (Gallery)

2015-03-16T12:00:00.000-04:00

If you love football and your female types are blondes Dutch international Anna Hoogendijk may be just the type of girl you are looking for. Happy monday

Van Gaal: What does Everyone Else Think of Him?

2015-03-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

The current Manchester United boss is known for being very self-confident in his methods of training. The former Netherlands boss has had a vast career as a coach and he has made an impact everywhere he has been.

While the wins on the field have been always a trademark of his work, some players and football personalities have many times disagreed with his methods and with him personally. He is someone that can polarize a room and not many people have a vague idea of where they stand when it comes to liking or disliking Van Gaal.

Here is what some of the people who have worked with him have to say about the current Manchester United bench boss.

Johan Cruyff - "You wonder whether he has one or two screws loose".

Franck Ribery - "I haven't had fun on the pitch once under van Gaal. I had had more than enough of it".

Luca Toni - "Van Gaal simply didn't want to work with me, he treats players like interchangeable objects."

Giovanni - "Van Gaal is the Hitler of the Brazilian players, is arrogant, proud and has a problem. He has no idea of football. His type is sick, he's crazy."

Lucio - "Van Gaal hurt me more than anyone else in football."

Zlatan Ibrahimovic - "Van Gaal is a dictator, with no sense of humour"

As you can see from the comments above, he doesn’t receive many holiday cards during this time of the year. He is probably in most former or current player’s naughty list.

He is the Grinch that stole the fun in football.

Sunday Trivia - 5 Faceless Players - Oranje Edition

2015-01-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

This week on 5 Faceless Players we got the infamous orange kit wearing national team, The Netherlands. The 5 footballers are from different eras, how many can you guess correctly?

1

2

3

4

5

5 Interesting Manager Facts - Louis van Gaal

2015-01-17T16:00:00.000-05:00

Louis van Gaal is the current manager of English giants Manchester United, and while belief was low after the state in which previous manager David Moyes left the club, van Gaal seemed to have managed to turn things around with United looking to slowly be coming back to their old selves. Here are 5 interesting facts about LVG.

A girl's name?

"Louis van Gaal" as we know him was actually registered under a much different name at birth; one that included 4 names, one of which was quite feminine. He was called Aloysius Paulus Maria Van Gaal by his parents.

2 Seasons 0 appearances for Ajax

Van Gaal started his professional playing career with Dutch giants AFC Ajax, but in his two seasons in Amsterdam the midfielder could not crack the first team which included the likes of Johan Cruyff and Johan Neeskens in the middle, picking up a total pof zero appearances for 'de Godenzonen' before moving to Belgium to play for Royal Antwerp.

8 Siblings

That's right, Louis is the youngest of 9 siblings in total. 4 brothers and 4 siblings, which apparently spoiled "baby" Louis into the man he is now. But the real "leader" in the family according to van Gaal himself was the father (not surprising, considering he had to raise 9 kids). Van Gaal was quoted speaking of his dad: ‘He had an open mind. He listened and had the courage to make decisions that were difficult to accept for some. He was a leader figure.’

League title with every club

Something every United supporter will enoy to hear is that prior taking over the reigns at Manchester United this summer Louis van Gaal was the bench-boss with 5 different domestic outfits, succeeding to win the league title with each one of them. Van Gaal managed one league title with both Bayern Munich and AZ Alkmaar, two domestic championships with Barcelona and a whopping three league titles with AFC Ajax in consecutive seasons.

World's best Manager

While managing AFC Ajax in the Eredivisie in the Netherlands, Louis van Gaal was awarded the prestigious World Soccer magazine Manager of the Year award. During that year van Gaal managed to lead his club to an Eredivisie title, the Johan Cruijff Schaal (Dutch equivilent of the Community Shield), the Intercontinental Cup, the UEFA Super Cup and of course the UEFA Champions League competition.

5 Interesting Manager Facts - Ronald Koeman

2014-11-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

This week on 5 Interesting Manager Facts we take a look at Dutch footballing hero and current Southampton bench-boss Ronald Koeman. Here are 5 very interesting facts about the man who has got The Saints sitting in the second place in the EPL after 12 matches played.

Every club but his first

FC Groningen was the first professional football club Koeman ever played for. Nonetheless, after becoming manager the Dutch coach was able to find a managerial job in some capacity with every team he had once played for except for his first. Koeman was an assistant with both the Dutch national team and Barcelona and was the head coach for his former sides Ajax, PSV and Feyenoord. But the former Groningen youngster had never been appointed to the managerial staff of his very first professional side.

Half-half

It's hard to tell whether Koeman preferred playing with the national team on home soil or on the road. While part of the Dutch national outfit, Koeman scored 14 goals which were split right down the middle, scoring 7 in the Netherlands and the same amount while playing with the Oranje away from home.

Win or lose, he still wins

The only time Koeman recorded more losses than wins as a manager was during his stint with Spanish club Valencia. Regardless of the losing record however, Koeman's side was able to win the 2007-08 Copa del Rey.

The winning goal that saw England stay home

Leading up to the 1994 FIFA World Cup in the United States, Ronald Koeman essentially became the reason why The Three Lions would not travel to America. Prior to the second-last match of qualifying for both teams England was sitting one point clear of the Dutch in their qualifying group. When the two faced each other in the Netherlands it was free-kick specialist Koeman who would score the game-winning goal against the visitors in a 2-0 final. After both teams went on to win their final matches, the Dutch qualifyed for the tournament in second place, while England was eliminated in third.

The wipe

After the Netherlands' win in the semi-finals of the 1988 Euros against the Germans (which was also hosted in Germany), Ronald Koeman went on to pretend to wipe his ass with the jersey of German footballer Olaf Thon in front of the German crowd. Ronald's Dutch side would go on to defeat the Soviet Union in the finals and Koeman still says he does not regret the action when asked about his controversial gesture.

The Bizarre Genius of Henk Blansjaar (Gallery)

2014-11-21T20:00:00.000-05:00

VVV Venlo, 1963

The other day on Twitter, I came across a great account called Beyond the Last Man (@BeyondTLM) which specializes in retro football nostalgia.

They have some truly wonderful images and article on their site, that if you're like me and have a keen interest in football history you'll definitely want to check out at: http://beyondthelastman.com/

One of the recent features on their site was on a late Dutch photographer named Henk Blansjaar who through convention out the window when capturing images of Dutch sides in the 1960's.

His team photos were unlike anything I'd ever seen and fall under the category of "it's so crazy, it works".

Here are five of my favourite Blansjaar squad photos:

Groningen 1964

Roda JC, 1965

SV Limburgia 1963

WVV Wageningen 1964

Xerxes, 1964

PSV Signing New Kit Deal with Umbro

2014-11-15T20:00:00.000-05:00

According to reports coming out of Holland, PSV will be signing a new kit deal with Umbro that will be effective for the start of the 2015-16 season.

While no deal has officially been finalized it believed that Umbro will indeed replace Nike as the kit supplier for PSV. Nike had been their kit manufacture since 1995, so Umbro is able to come in and break a 20 year partnership.

Umbro and PSV will be signing a five year deal that will see Umbro as their kit supplier until the 2020-21 season. This is just the latest team to have dropped Nike as their kit supplier for the upcoming season. Manchester United and Juventus have also ended their relationship with Nike and starting in 2015-16 their kits will be supplied by Adidas.

Umbro is currently the official kit sponsor of Derby County (England), Everton (England), Hull City (England), West Ham (England) and Nantes (France). The move to Eredivisie is a logic move to expand their reach to other leagues and countries.

Dutch Football Logos by Boyd Koers (Gallery)

2014-11-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

Boyd Koers designed a collection of illustrations representing simplified versions of all Dutch Premier League teams for the 2013-14 season.

If you would like to see more of his work you can check him out at http://boydkoers.tumblr.com/

5 Interesting Manager Facts - Guus Hiddink

2014-10-18T15:00:00.000-04:00

Today on 5 Interesting Manager Facts we take a look at Guus Hiddink, the famous Dutch manager has had the pleasure of being in charge of both club teams and national squads and is currently the manager of the Dutch national outfit. Here are 5 very interesting facts about the man.

Fact 1 - Korean benefits

After his incredible 2 years in charge of the South Korean national team in which time he had prepared them for the World Cup which Korea hosted together with Japan and eventually masterminded the team's incredible run to claim fourth place in the entire tournament, the Korean's repaid the Dutch coach by renaming the stadium where they qualified to the semi finals to the Guus Hiddink Stadium, free lifetime flights on Korean Air and many other perks such as free cab rides in South Korea. Hiddink was also awarded an honorary South Korean citizenship, a first of its kind.

Fact 2 - Playing in the USA

Believe it or not, but the only two times Guud Hiddink left Europe as a player, the Dutchman made his way across the ocean to the United States. When Guus was part of Dutch outfit NEC he was first loaned to NASL club Washington Diplomats in 1978, and then again to the same league in 1980 only this time to the old San Jose Earthquakes.

Fact 3 - A true champion...of the 3rd tier

In his playing days, midfielder Guus Hiddink began his professional career with Dutch outfit De Graafschap. With this club Hiddink had won the only championship title of his entire playing career. This title was the championship of the Tweede Divisie, which then was the third (and lowest) tier of professional football in the Netherlands.

Fact 4 - Eindhoven's best

After his two stints in charge of PSV Guud Hiddink is the most decorated manager in PSV Eidhoven's history. While in charge of the club, PSV managed to win 6 Dutch championships, 4 Dutch cup, the Dutch Super Cup once and the European championship in 1988.

Fact 5 - Four months and out

Chelsea fans may remember Hidding's short stint with The Blues, but surprisingly enough this was not his shortest time in charge of a club. After being fired from Real Madrid Hiddink took over at another Spanish club Real Betis in February of 2000. But after some poor results in which his club was only able to win 3 of 16 matches the Dutchman was let go of his duties in May.

That Cruyff is a Work of Art (Gallery)

2014-10-11T21:00:00.001-04:00

Dutch football legend Johan Cruyff is a very popular subject for art. From paintings to illustrations, here is a collection of the best Cruyff artwork from around the internet.

FFN: National Sides Pre-Release Euro 2016 Excuses

2014-10-03T18:00:00.000-04:00

In a surprising move this week, several major European Football Associations pre-released their excuses for crashing out of Euro 2016.
Although the tournament is still almost two years away, several nations decided to get the jump on their exit press releases, develop their damage control contingencies and start laying down the framework for their World Cup 2018 excuses.

Here is what the FA's that pre-released their exit excuses had to say exactly:

Italy

Italian boss Antonio Conte released the following statement to the press this week:

"As with every tournament we don't win, 'dark forces' have seen us exit the competition in the first round. When the corrupt match officials appointed by UEFA are calling fouls against us, what can we do?

The answer is nothing, but rather we will scream out to the heavens about the injustice the Azzurri has had inflicted upon it again. All we wanted to do was bring the world delight, untamed sexuality, wisdom and joy, but having a penalty called against one of our defenders, for accidentally punching a ball away, robbed us of that chance."

An unnamed Italian Football Federation official also muttered something ridiculously racist about Mario Balotelli being the main reason for the sides demise.

England

Wayne Rooney faced the English media today to announce that he will take his share of the blame for the Three Lions inglorious exit from the Euros.

"I'm gonna need me holidays after the season like. And I fancy going on the piss in Vegas again, so I'm going to be in no fit state to play that summer with England really. But contractually, Nike won't be happy if I go into hibernation for a month, so I'm going pitch up sticks in France and try to sweat the booze off.

I have promised the gaffer that I'm gonna try cutting back on me Benson & Hedges, at least down to a pack a day, but I can't promise I'll cut back on the beer or me burgers and chips.

Oh, I'll try to control me temper on the pitch during the Euros, but I can't say I won't disgrace me-self by kicking a Swede up the bollocks and seeing red, like. That will probably do for us and I'll be the scapegoat again.

Let's face it though, no matter how I do the team is utter shite and that's because there's too many foreigners in the Premier League. Don't take this the wrong way, but having only 11% of the lads in the league being English isn't good. Roy says that we need a 'root and branch' approach to youth development. But I'll be fucked if I know what that means."

Netherlands

Looking more and more like an angry penis these days, Arjen Robben had this to say to a group of reporters hanging around the Dutch training ground:

"Well, we crashed out because frankly Robin Van Persie is too old and has knees like the Quaker Oats guy from Cocoon. Wait, is that fellow still alive?

Oh well, never mind. Besides RVP, Wesley Sneijder is also, how you English say 'an old age pensioner' and a bit of an asshole. He wanted everything to go through him, but he made the key mistake of not accepting that he isn't like me. Only I age in reverse, like that Benjamin Button character, but far more handsome. I figure by the time I hit 50, I'll be ready to run the 100 meter dash in the Olympics.

Or perhaps I'll take up diving. Haha. A little inside joke.

Say what you will about Sneijder though, his wife is smoking hot. Oh, they split up?
That's a pity. Or should I say, giggity, giggity?"

Portugal

Cristiano Ronaldo had this to say to the Portuguese media, after taking off his shirt and applying a bit of baby oil on his abs, on Thursday:

"Our failure to succeed at the Euros is mainly due to an unfortunate injury I suffered prior to the tournament.

I was flexing in front of a mirror, the week before we left for our training camp, and I tore the muscle in my right buttock. With that I found it difficult to accelerate, which greatly reduced my effectiveness.

I did get my haircut prior to our opening match, but it just wasn't enough.

As for my teammates, well we're still picking Nani and Postiga, so I'll leave that one to you. But if I'm being honest, without me we would struggle to beat the Faroe Islands, let alone anyone half decent.

Pepe certainly didn't help us when he headbutted the referee five minutes into our opening match and he should be kicked out along with the rest of the useless duds in this squad.

But I have to say that I have nothing but respect for my teammates."

France

A grave faced Didier Deschamps addressed the media in Paris this Wednesday, where he went on to say the following:

"After a decent run to the Quarter Finals of the World Cup in Brazil, we followed the proud French tradition of completely imploding this time out.

Personally, I blame Samir Nasir. Even though he wasn't picked for the squad his cruel sniping in the newspapers did much to undermine our cause.

We also had an internal issue that really hurt us, that I feel you should know about.

Cabaye innocently walked in on a conversation between Lloris and Pogba, where they allegedly called him a donkey and said he should be drinking carrot juice instead of Gatorade. He was deeply hurt by their harsh words and understandably left the squad.

We apologize to the people of France and vow to never let this happen again."

Ireland

57 year old captain Robbie Keane had this to say to the Irish Times today:

"We were just happy to qualify for the Euros and we only went for the craic to be fair.

And let me tell you, we had some good craic, and at my age you don't know how many more opportunities you'll get to have a really good laugh at a major tournament.

Sure, we would have liked to have taken a point from one of our matches, but we were here and that's the most important thing."

*********
Thanks for reading Friday's Fake News. Please note that none of what you have read above is true, but feel free to favourite this page and refer back to it in the summer of 2016 to see how accurate or off the wall these made up quotes really are.

Oranje Moments Art by The Garlic Myth (Gallery)

2014-10-02T21:00:00.000-04:00

Illustrator by the name 'The Garlic Myth' from Utrecht, Netherlands has created a project of the most memorable moments in the history of the Dutch national team. Some moments are from the past, and some are from this summer's World Cup in Brazil.

2014 World Cup Stars Part 1 - Cartoons by Keuj Bardoux (Gallery)

2014-09-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

Keuj Bardoux is an incredible cartoon designer and he has put together a collection of cartoons representing most of the biggest stars that played at the 2014 World Cup.

In this part 1 gallery, I have put together the cartoons representing Brazil, France, Argentina, Germany and Netherlands.

If you would like to check more of his work you can follow him on twitter at @Keuj_Bardoux

5 Football Books You Must Read

2014-08-23T21:00:00.000-04:00

Besides all the crappy ghostwritten player biographies, and "we wuz 'arder than the scousers" hooligan literature, there are some amazing football books out there.

Here are five terrific football books I've read over the years that I can highly recommend:

Fever Pitch - Nick Hornby

The seminal football fan diary of a life spent obsessing about and following a club. Even if you aren't a fan of Arsenal, if you've ever loved a football team and found yourself stressing about a friends wedding being scheduled at the same time as a 3rd round cup tie involving them, this is the book for you. I never read a novel more than once, and yet I've read Fever Pitch three times and it gets better with each read.

The Glory Game - Hunter Davies

During the 1971/1972 season, author Hunter Davies was granted unprecedented access to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. Embedded within the squad from pre-season right up to Tottenham's season ending victory over Wolverhampton in the UEFA Cup, this book is an incredible look behind the often closed doors of a professional club. Throughout this wonderful novel we get to know the players and staff, warts and all, over the course of a memorable season. It's not a surprise that few authors have been granted such access since.

The Miracle of Castel di Sangro - Joe McGinniss

After falling in love with football in the early '90s, an American writer decided to write an account of the first season in Serie B of a small provincial Italian club. What followed was a season of tragedy, triumph and betrayal in one of the most gripping football books I've read.

Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football - David Winner

A sparkling history of Dutch football that charts the development of the game in that country, the characters that shaped their style of play and why the Dutch have in some cases underachieved. Marrying the culture of the Dutch people, their history and the football played in the country together, Winner writes one of the definitive accounts of what makes the football of the Oranje so special.

The Damned United - David Peace

If you simply mention "44 days" to an English football fan of a certain vintage, they'll immediately know that you are referring to Brian Clough's infamous time in charge of Leeds United. Described by the author as a work of as "a fiction based on a fact", this novel is written in a stream of consciousness style, from Clough's perspective as he takes charge of a club with players he despises and that hate him just as much. A gripping read that perhaps isn't for everyone, this book provides an interesting take on a well known tale.

Notable Mentions: The Beckham Experiment - Grant Wahl, and Football Against the Enemy - Simon Kuper

Youngest Player Debuts in European Football

2014-08-19T18:00:00.000-04:00

With 15 year old Martin Ødegaard already the youngest player to play in the Tippeliga, and currently on the verge of making his record breaking debut for the Norwegian National Side, we looked at a few of the bigger leagues in Europe, for other young prodigies who made similar early breakthroughs.

While most of us were too busy chasing after the opposite sex, trying to figure out ways to cheat on exams and working horrible part-time jobs which involved cleaning out grease traps in our teens, these players were suiting up for clubs in the top divisions of their respective nations.

England

The youngest player to play in a Football League match is Reuben Noble-Lazarus, a winger for Barnsley who made his debut at 15 years and 45 days old during a 3-0 loss in the Championship to Ipswich in the 2008/2009 season. Noble-Lazarus is still on Barnsley's books but has struggled to cement a place in the side in the years since and has only made 45 appearances.

In the Premiership, the youngest player to ever make a first team debut is Fulham's Matthew Briggs. The defender played his first match for the Craven Cottage side at 16 years and 65 days old against Middlesborough, in a 3-1 loss at the tail end of the 2006/2007 season. Since then, Briggs has played for a host of clubs on loan, before finally leaving Fulham for Millwall this summer after only 13 appearances for the Cottagers in total.

Spain

Francisco Baos Rodríguez, better known as Sansón, made his La Liga debut for Celta de Vigo aged only 15 years and 255 days against Sevilla in a 4-1 win in 1939. Although Sansón left Celta two seasons later, after only a handful of appearances, the defender later returned to the top division with Real Oviedo, with whom he carved out an impressive career with 115 top flight appearances for the club from Asturias.

France

Laurent Paganelli, the youngest player to debut in France's Ligue 1, debuted at 15 years, 10 months for Saint-Étienne in 1978. He went on to play five seasons for Les Verts and was part of the side that captured the 1980/1981 League Championship. After a fourteen year career, with stints at clubs like Toulon and Grenoble, Paganelli hung up his boots and became a journalist for Canal +.

Italy

The youngest player to step onto the pitch for a Serie A side is Roma's Amedeo Amadei who debuted at 15 years and 9 months in 1936. Amadei would go on to score 116 goals over two stints with the Roman side and also found the net 7 times in 13 appearances for the Azzurri.

Netherlands

Aged only 15 years and 290 days when making his debut in 1959, Wim Kras is still the youngest player to play in the Dutch top division. Kras played his entire career for Volendam, making over 400 appearances for the club.

Scotland

Scotland's Scott Robinson made his record breaking debut for Hearts at only 16 years and 1 month old against Inverness Caledonian Thistle during a 1-0 win in 2007/2008. Robinson has since become a regular for the Edinburgh side, making over 80 appearances in midfield for them to date.

De Klassieker - Football Rivalries - Ajax vs Feyenoord

2014-08-18T09:00:00.000-04:00

De Klassieker ("The Classic") between Ajax of Amsterdam and Feyenoord of Rotterdam is arguably the biggest and definitely the nasiest rivalry in the Netherlands.

The rivalry between these two great Dutch sides is often seen as the battle between the artists and intellectuals of Amsterdam against the working class fans from Rotterdam. In fact, a common saying amongst the people of Rotterdam is that “While Amsterdam dreams, Rotterdam works”.

Rotterdam is indisputably the industrial heartland of the Netherlands, whereas Amsterdam is more renown as a city for tourists. Feyenoord fans view their rivals from Ajax as arrogant and lazy, while the Amsterdam locals consider the Feyenoord faithful as knuckle dragging simpletons.

Violence between the two sets of fans from the 1970's up until recent years had been fierce, however a notorious incident in 1997 has resulted a major police crackdown whenever the sides meet up. That year the two sets of fans were involved in what has since become known as The Battle of Beverwijk. With Feyenoord's S.C.F. and Ajax's F-Side meeting up for a pre-arranged battle in a meadow off of the motorway near Beverwijk, the two groups tore into each other with baseball bats, knives, claw hammers, tasers, and iron bars in some of the worst football related violence the country had ever seen. During the fighting, Ajax hooligan Carlo Picornie was killed after taking a claw hammer to the head. S.C.F. member Leonardo P. Panton would later serve five years in prison for his murder.

On the football side, a rivalry of sorts had existed between the two sides since the 1920's, it didn't really reach a fever pitch until the 1960's. At the dawn of a great period for Dutch football, both sides emerged as not only the best sides in the Netherlands, but also two of the stronger sides in Europe.

In 1970, Feyenoord defeated heavily favoured Celtic 2-1 in the European Cup Final to signal a shift of the balance in power in European football. Not to be outdone, their great rivals from Ajax then won the next three European Cups in a row with the brilliant Johan Cruyff in their ranks.

The two clubs would go on to provide the bulk of the Netherlands side that finished as runners up at the 1974 World Cup.

Besides Ajax's three straight victories in the European Cup in the 1970's, they added another European title under Louis van Gaal in 1995, while Feyenoord have been unable to add to their solitary triumph. Domestically, Ajax has won an incredible 33 League Titles to Feyenoord's 14.

In the always tense meetings between the two sides, Ajax has won 78 matches over their rivals, with Feyenoord winning 55 and 42 of their matches ending in draws.

Although in recent decades PSV has emerged as another major force in Dutch football, there is still nothing quite like De Klassieker. With tickets to matches between the two clubs very hard to come by, and the fixtures often helping to determine the destiny of the title, it's a rivalry that every football fan should try to see live at least once in their lifetime.

Old School Football (Gallery)

2014-07-27T15:00:00.000-04:00

Despite today's wall to wall coverage, the massive salaries, big egos and pink neon boots, football is still a simple game played between twenty two men or women with the aim being to outscore the other side.

Beyond being just a game, football throughout the years has brought people, communities and even countries together. As a universal language, football can almost transcend sport and that's why I love it. Some of the best times I've had in my life have been centered around playing, watching, or even just talking about football.

Besides being an avid fan of the modern game, below are some of my favourite images from football's past. Former Stoke City manager Tony Waddington once described football as 'The Working Man's Ballet' and these wonderful, and occasionally weird, images definitely support that.

If you're interested in seeing more like this, I highly recommend following @AntiqueFootball on Twitter.

Ajax vs Liverpool in the Fog, 1966

Rangers vs Arsenal under the floodlights at Highbury, 1951

England's Dick, Kerr Women's team who defeated France 2-0 in 1921 in the first Women's International

Alfredo Di Stéfano, Denis Law, and Lev Yashin, 1963

Barcelona's players have a laugh at Kevin Keegan and Hamburg's pink kits, 1977

Czechoslovakia's Antonin Panenka scores the goal that still bares his name against West Germany, 1976

Dutch fans climb trees to get a better view of Netherlands vs. Belgium, 1913

Stadio Giuseppe Meazza, 1965

Werder Bremen's Weserstadion, 1965

Pumas de la UNAM, 1976

Fans Vote: 2014 World Cup Best XI

2014-07-24T09:00:00.000-04:00

World Cup fans have voted, and it seems that Brazil was in fact the best team of the tournament since their players make up the majority of this “World Cup Best XI” list.

The list to be honest is a bit of a farce. After Brazil’s inability to secure a top 3 finish, it is not clear whether these “fans” even watched the tournament before logging-in to FIFA's website to vote, dedicating four of the available eleven roster spots to the host nation.

Goalkeeper:

Manuel Neuer (Germany)

One position that almost cannot be disputed was the goalkeeper. Manuel Nauer surely was the best goalkeeper of the tournament, deservedly picking up the gold glove award as the best net-minder of the tournament. Although Costa Rica’s Keylor Navas would have put himself in contention if his squad was possibly able to advance one more round.

Defenders:

David Luiz (Brazil), Mats Hummels (Germany), Marcelo (Brazil), Thiago Silva (Brazil).

This is the big joke. While Mats Hummels undoubtedly deserves a spot on this list and Thiago Silva may have somewhat of a case, David Luiz and especially Marcelo have no business being mentioned on the same page as 2014 World Cup’s best. BBC’s South American Correspondent had this to say about Luiz: “I have to confess that in all my time watching football I have never seen a worse performance from a top level player in a big game than that of David Luiz in the semi-final against Germany”.

There are probably close to a dozen defenders that could have made this list ahead of one or two of the Brazilians. Where is Phillipe Lahm (although you could argue that in this tournament he should be classified as a midfielder) or even Jerome Boateng who was absolutely solid in German’s defense throughout the entire tournament? Or how about any defender that didn’t score the first goal of the World Cup into his own net like Marcelo? Dutch defender Vlaar, Argentina’s Ezequiel Garay, Mexico’s Miguel Layun and even Costa Rica’s Cristian Gamboa all deserved to be mentioned before the Brazilians.

Midfielders:

Angel Di Maria (Argentina), James Rodriguez (Colombia), Toni Kroos (Germany).

The midfield looks like a just list, but was Di Maria actually better throughout the tournament than Arjen Robben for example? Arturo Vidal and Javier Mascherano made a case for themselves as well, although the three midfielders chosen all had a very good tournament, especially Kroos and Golden Boot winner Colombian youngster James Rodriguez.

Forwards:

Lionel Messi (Argentina), Thomas Muller (Germany), Neymar (Brazil).

Messi it seems, could win an American Idol competition without even participating. The Golden Ball awarded to the Argentine as the best player of the tournament was ridiculous, with at least two or three names that should have been considered ahead of the Barcelona man. So it is no surprise he makes this list, and although to most this may seem correct, I wouldn’t name him among the best three in the tournament. Let’s not forget that for the majority of Argentina’s elimination matches Messi was invisible, creating very little in terms of impact for his squad. Sure he’s got 4 goals, but coming against Bosnia, Iran and Nigeria it is hardly an impressive achievement for the four time Ballon d'Or winner.

As far as Neymar is concerned, I feel awful for what happened to him against Chile and truly wish the Brazilian star a speedy recovery. But to me, there’s absolutely no reason a footballer should make a list of top players in the tournament after two good performances against pretty weak squads and not participating in the final three matches for his team. Yes, he is good. Let me rephrase that, Neyamar is an amazing, talented, incredible footballer, but one that does not deserve to be on this particular list!

I would look at the prolific performances of Van Persie and Karim Benzema for instance before picking Neymar for this list. And even Costa Rica’s Bryan Ruiz with his 2 goals was much more of a difference maker for his squad up-front.

10 Fat Footballers

2014-07-18T18:00:00.000-04:00

So, as if Newcastle United didn't have enough issues to deal with on and off the pitch, the club has now fined French winger Hatem Ben-Arfa for showing up after holidays looking a bit overweight. But being fat, while not at all the norm in football has been around for many years as the list below will prove.

Sol Campbell

A great footballer earlier in his career, Sol Campbell was never a small guy. But by the time he hit the pitch with Newcastle United in 2010 in what was his last year as a professional footballer, Campbell had gained a few pounds and had lost quite a bit of speed. He played for the Magpies just seven times that season before retiring from football.

Ailton

Aílton Gonçalves da Silva, a big boy with a big name. Ailton as he is known to most was pretty much always on the chubby side. But the Brazilian striker does not let his weight get the better of him, and at 40 years of age still plays professional for BFV Hassia Bingen, a club in the German 5th tier.

Andy Reid

Currently with Nottingham Forrest, this Irish midfielder unlike most others on this list startd gaining weight early in his career. Pictured below in a Sunderland shirt, Reid spent time with the Black Cats when he was just 26-29 years old.

Collin Samuel

This Trinidad & Tobago striker for whatever reason has spent most of his career in Scotland. He did spend a little time in Canada with Toronto FC at which time I personally heard the home crowd sing "who ate all the pies?" at the big man. After two seasons at TFC Samuel went back to Scotland.

Mido

The Egyptian trouble maker was more than just a coach's headache because of his poor attitude. Mido started gaining weight in a very early "footballing age". Whether because he was fat, or maybe just because his magnificent football skills had just seemed to turn-off one day, he retired from football in 2013 at just 30 years old.

Miguel Herrera

Herrera was the face of the 2014 World Cup for a little while after the Mexican coach's celebrations, face expressions and yelling videos went viral over the internet. Sure he is pretty fat right now, but he wasn't very skinny when he played in the Mexican league and internationally for his country as well.

Neville Southall

The Welsh goalkeeper wasn't always as big as the photo below would suggest. He was a big guy in his 17 years with Everton, but not fat. In his later footballing years however Southalll gained the pounds quick.

Ronaldo

Probably the most famous fat footballer is Brazilian legend Ronaldo. After surpassing the all time scoring record in the World Cup, Ronaldo gained what seemed to be a pound per minute. Maybe now that Miroslav Klose had passed Ronaldo's scoring tally, the Brazilian can go on a diet and come out of international retirement.

Salvador Cabanas

The Paraguayan footballer had his days on and off the weight throughout his career. Some years he looked quite skinny while on other occasions he seemed more likely to be a boxer than a striker in the Mexican league.

Winston Bogarde

Dutch international defender Bogarde was pretty much always on the bigger side. But at one point while playing for Ajax in his native Netherlands he really gained the pounds. He did seem to manage to shed the weight with his later clubs AC Milan, Barcelona and Chelsea.